An Actor Darkly

Crawling towards the next thing

2009-03-28T13:59:00.005-04:00

Bad blogger. No treats.

I could tell you how exhausting the whole process of Moon Over Buffalo turned out to be. I could tell you how amazing it is when you get amazing actors playing realized characters. I could tell you how inspirational it is to sit in the back of a dark theater and watch those actors create moments you never thought of, never rehearsed. I could tell you how wonderfully painful it is to just let go of it when you sit back there and release all control.

I could tell you how we were supposed to operate at a loss. How we were told that it was OK to operate at a loss, it was expected. I could tell you how we eventually profited over a thousand dollars and that was almost what I wanted to happen. (I wanted at least two thousand.) I could tell you how we tried new promotionals to get younger crowds to start wanting to see theater again. I could tell you how all of that was rolling a boulder uphill. I could tell you how new ideas are not welcome, and directors who are ready to roll through inefficiency wears out his welcome. I could tell you how I never bothered to say, "See? I was right."

But the truth is I'm too tired, and ready to move on.

For all those reasons and more I'm stuck in this cycle of contemplation. Why aren't I doing more? Why haven't I done more? The concentration I fall into doing these things turns out to be a trap.

I had this image on my head last night. I was in some gigantic space, sitting on the floor. I was building something. Something small and beautiful and fragile. Something that needed nothing less than all of my concentration. My vision became tunneled, everything else swept away. I never noticed the gigantic machines rolling around behind me in the darkness. Giant steel doors with massive locks closed behind me, I never heard. I sat back finally, this thing I made finally complete. I watched it melt away, drift apart like it had to. I stood up and found myself cut off. Again.

(Apologies. We remove ourselves from the land of emo and return you to our regular programming.)

Anywho, houses were rocked, actors had fun, money was made. It was a winner in all respects. The next thing? Who knows. I still have a shitload of writing to do and now the time to do it. Maybe next year another thing (keep looking for good plays, suggestions are welcome). As a matter of fact, you tell me your favorite play and I'll read it, how's that?

Wow, what a time...

2009-03-18T13:08:00.002-04:00

Hi...hopefully you're still around and checking this blog. I'd apologize to you if you aren't, but then you're not reading this anyway.

We're nine days away from opening.

Directing Moon Over Buffalo has been pretty much unparalleled in its positivity. I guess the early decisions, the tough ones, are the most important you can make. You put the best people you can in the most appropriate places and the ship basically runs itself.

I won't say there have been no frustrating moments. There have been a few. Differing opinions and all that. Most of it has been organizational or administrative. The cast clicks and works in a way I haven't seen pretty much ever. It makes me wonder, this show in the end will not really be a measure of my abilities as a director. There've been no difficult actors to work with, no obstacle that wasn't worked around relatively easy. If I can take any credit, I guess it would be for two things...

The first is scheduling. Most of the time in community theater you're basically told the few evenings or weekend times you'll be rehearsing. You're pretty much expected to be there for that time whether you're needed for fifteen minuted or three hours. When actors can't be there, someone stands in and the rehearsal proceeds. It works to a certain degree, but this is not what I did. I broke the script into 3-5 page segments, 26 in all. I took every actor's availability and which scenes they were in and scheduled them to be there for the hour that scene would be rehearsed. This might sound simple. It took three passes on the schedule, a couple hours each time, to build a workable plan that got each scene rehearsed twice, room to do full act runs, and leave room for the inevitable cancellations.

It ended up looking like a film shoot schedule, completely out of order. But in the end it worked. Each actor knew that when they walked in for that hour's rehearsal, the attention would be paid solely to that one scene, no matter how long or short. Some were trickier than others to eventually get blocked and designed, but there was always room to run it a dozen times before moving on to the next scene. The repeats were even better. Retention was excellent and eventually I could let them explore a bit in a script that doesn't allow for much improvisation. I thought the first attempts at running the acts would be a mess, nothing had been done in order. It was actually more consistent than I'd ever seen. The performances are already at show level.

The other thing was a new marketing approach. I might be repeating this rant, but no one comes to see community theater anymore. There was a time when each show was well attended, big events that drew large audiences. That was done by the time I arrived in the area. Sure, people will come out for the big ones, Oklahoma, Grease, Jesus Christ Superstar, they're all big productions that people love. In the case of Oklahoma, I have no idea why. But no one takes chances on something they don't know. So our job is to introduce them to it. That's why I shot a trailer...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=av2uGxrfEik

If you search the internet for theatrical trailers, the first thing you'll see are poorly produced high school plays. Then you'll find some community or small professional theater doing something similar. Usually they take rehearsals (uncostumed, no props, sets, etc.) and give you a slice of them. Or if they're further along in their production they'll do something on their set. The problem with a theater set is that the closer you get, the more it's obviously artifice, and cameras pick that up. We went for a less conventional approach, and that's what you see here.

I don't have any more time at the moment. Directors get busy!

More on MOB

2009-02-05T10:44:00.002-05:00

Before I get into the play, a few things...

Top Chef still isn't off the hook for that stupid two minute thing in between commercials. It just means more commercials.

Gran Torino is totally worth seeing even though Clint is the only one who can act in the movie. What makes me sad is knowing that there are great, subtle scripts out there by the dozens. But you can't have those get made the way they are without having the juice Eastwood has. I see movies that had such potential that you can almost feel how they were ruined by rewrites.

If the Pink Floyd Experience is coming through your town, go see them. With a $2.5 million light show, it's worth it. The music is spot on, the atmosphere. Dude.

So tonight is the first official rehearsal. For some reason I scheduled the real first rehearsal during the Superbowl. Oops. So that didn't happen.

What we've got done so far is to have the opportunity to have the cast sit around and talk through the script. We've worked backstories, made connections, and gave everyone an opportunity to see what everyone else is doing. It was really important to me to do this. I always feel that this process happens at the last possible moment in rehearsals, when it's kind of late to make any significant changes to the show. The first time around folks seemed a little nervous, unsure of what we were actually doing sitting around and not rehearsing. Eventually we all warmed to it and conversations started happening. The second time around we jumped right in. My hope, or my belief, is that those few times we had to just talk without needing to move forward will give everyone a better idea about how we're going to do this, and how I want to work.

We'll see starting tonight, I guess.

MOB Madness begins

2009-01-21T09:36:00.003-05:00

Tonight is the first read through for Moon Over Buffalo. I'm terribly excited, anxious, nervous, amped, and mildly nauseous all at the same time.

My experience so far has been about half wonderful, half terrifying. Prepping for getting into rehearsals, in essence really getting the show moving, involves a lot of what-ifs, 'oh shit' moments where some small but crucial detail needs to be written down RIGHT NOW before I forget it. (Like a production staff. I keep needing to write THAT one down.)

The board of the group has been unconditionally wonderful in dealing with me and letting me know that there are plenty of people who are experienced and willing to help. In fact, they keep reminding me. Throughout the audition process there were always several board members hanging out in the theater office just in case I needed something.

Speaking of auditions. Woa. MOB has eight parts, four men and four women. Over two nights of auditions I had twenty three actors read.

I was hoping for six.

Out of the twenty three, easily eighteen could have been cast. In fact, most of the actors were so good I went home the last night with a raging headache and a burning need for a stiff cocktail. I realized I could pretty much pull names out of a hat and assign actors at random. Admittedly, in terms of crises, this was pretty low on the terrible scale. It did mean disappointing a lot of people I really respect, if not consider friends. Hard choices had to be made, and as a new director I chose the cast I could be most comfortable with, that had the experience or talentto hit the ground running. In essence, a cast that could cover where I make mistakes.

Thankfully, everyone is thrilled about doing the show. Even those who weren't cast liked the audition process, which was different than most. People are already getting themselves off book, and ready for an absolutely crazy rehearsal process.

One unenvied job of being a director is scheduling the rehearsals. What's often impossible is taking ten adults who have jobs, children, volunteering, and whatever other obligations that naturally supercede theater and putting them all into one room at the same time. This script also has no great stretches of three or four actors. Lightning entrances and exits, separated by enough time that rehearsing all of that would be difficult. So I took the script and diagrammed all the actors entrances and exits. Then I sliced the script into twenty five segments. Yes, folks, twenty five. Combining the two I carved out a schedule that actually might work. Then I did it again.

This is what it looks like...

Man, I gotta get somebody to dust in here...

2008-12-11T11:54:00.002-05:00

Alright, folks, he's back. I know have things to talk about.

First, I don't care what anyone says. Heroes blows now. Damn you, Heroes, damn you for starting out awesome and crushing my spirit.

Second, Top Chef is pissing me off. Has anyone noticed that halfway through the show there's a two minute act about someone's drama, then right back to commercial? WTF mate? It's like the commercials get a rest for a minute.

Ok, now on to real stuff.

I'm a director now.

About six weeks ago the director of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest died unexpectedly. I hadn't known him very long but I hope it was obvious that I was very fond of the man. He had a gentle heart and an easy smile. He'll be missed.

So what happened was there was this play to be done, and no director. Initially someone asked if I was interested and I shook my head. I've wanted to try my hand at it for some time, I'm certainly opinionated enough. It wouldn't be my FIRST time, but it would be my first time trying to do it RIGHT. But I always thought about getting into it. After a few days the thought wasn't leaving my head. That's when I knew I wanted to do it.

While the next few weeks were a bit nerve racking, I don't think there was really any other alternative. No one else wanted to do it.

He was slated to direct the spring production for The Country Players. The show is crazy fun and uproariously funny. It's called Moon Over Buffalo.

There will be news.

Fuck Heroes

2008-11-19T08:58:00.005-05:00

You disappoint me. As one of my favorite shows you have certainly jumped the shark. How did the story get broken down after the first season?

"Well, we've got the TV world's attention, what do we do now?"

"How about we add a dozen characters, kill half of them except not have them be REALLY dead, aaaaaand...oo! We make the plot more byzantine than the X-Files ever dreamed it could be."

Anyone feel me here?

Whew. Thanks. Needed to get that off my chest. Still not much going on, that's why you haven't really heard much from me lately. I have had the chance to see Coldplay and NIN again. Trent now slips ahead of them all as the act I have seen the most, and that's appropriate, because he's awesome. Coldplay seemed very...similar. It's easy to see they were tired. As an actor I've certainly had performances where I wasn't 'feeling it' and went out and Acted. No doubt it happens to touring acts as well. NIN, while not doing anything drastically different, still rocked the house. You can't have a show like that on half, it' sgotta go all the way to eleven.

In other news, something's brewing on the theater front. I won't say anything til it happens, but it's...exciting?

Oh, and if any of you are still interested there's more writing on www.triggerstreet.com . Just look for user name krtshadow and you'll find fixed versions of the first story and a whole new one.

2008-10-27T08:20:00.002-04:00

Hi. I'm aware it's been a while. I feel like I've been eating a bunch of sh!t sandwiches lately and communicating on a fundamental level has been ...difficult. No worries. I'm resilient if nothing else.

So the half-marathon was a wild success. My shin splints had been acting up all week. I thought it would be thirteen miles of pain. I didn't care. If i had to crawl I was going to finish. When I lined up I was a huge bundle of nerves, but when the running started there was no pain at all. Never during the run did my shins feel a second of pain. It was like having a weight taken off my back.

Now so you know, it's STILL thirteen miles of pain, but pain I can get with. I was trained to the best of what I could accomplish. I had the goal I told everybody I'd be okay with. Then I had a secret goal, something to push for but not have to share my disappointment if I didn't get it. Well, I finished twelve minutes ahead of my secret goal so staying I was ecstatic was understatement. Now it's on to my next big goal. A marathon next year.

Other news, I write. And I wrote some more. I could be putting more effort into it but everything feels so 'hiatus' right now.

I've also been thinking about directing theater, god help me. For some reason I keep going back to the show Bug. Anything that ends with main characters dousing themselves in gasoline...I'm down with it. Never seen the movie, don't care to.

For this, my 100th post...

2008-10-09T10:26:00.002-04:00

...I'm not apologizing for being away so long.

Nothing's happened. Writing continues, and is now in the far less fun process of RE-writing. Throwing my manhood on the page wildly was fun and creative, but now it must turn into a story.

There is finally a "big time" movie done in my area starring a very famous person. I've had a day on it so far. What I find is that everyone east of Worcester thinks everyone WEST of Worcester can't possibly be as good, smart, or professional as them. And they're in charge. So even though I'm fifteen minutes at most from every single set they ship Boston extras in and put them up in hotels and give them all the choice spots and they still talk with that godawful accent. And, regional differences notwithstanding, a lot of them are morons (see previous meatball references).

Most of the reason I haven't written in ages is that I've decided to run the Hartford Half Marathon. See, my scale and I had a disagreement, and my mirror weighed in on its' side. So I decided to run. (I've heard all the Forrest jokes already.) Finding that I could actually obsess over it was interesting, so I decided the most natural thing would be to run 13.1 miles. Hold your laughter.

So I do that in two days. My legs are burning from the knees down, I'm slightly terrified, but mostly pumped and ready to go.

Wish me luck.

And Now for Something Completely Different...

2008-08-09T21:35:00.007-04:00

...or at least mostly different.

I've been on vacation for two weeks. It's been a home vacation, so not too much excitement, but there is so much that I want to get out in this post that I very well might have to do this incrementally.

So the first week was basically hanging around my house accomplishing very little. At any time I could be found

-Sleeping

-Writing
-Drinking

-Watching movies

-Eating (good) sushi

-Eating
-Drinking

-Sleeping

-Running (but that might end up being another entry)

The writing dried up after the first four or five days. Both the projects I'm working on right now are with other people, and both of them are neck deep in paying work. Everybody's gotta eat, so it's no big deal. I should have worked on my first script but it terrifies me. I did manage to get it printed and in a binder, ready to be knifed to ribbons. After the writing was done much more drinking happened.

It kind of stinks to be on vacation when no one else is. Fortunately I like solitude as well as company, so no big shakes.

Week number two was all about the music. See, instead of going somewhere alone I spent whatever trip money I had on concert tickets. The week began with Saturday...

Saturday the lady friend and I drove down to hartford to see Coldplay. This would be my third time seeing them and it's a show that never gets old. Has my manhood been questioned because of my fondness for them? Sure, but then I still sing along to Duran Duran so who's counting? Have I sung along at the top of my lungs while driving down the freeway, being stared at by every car I pass? You betcha. Never stops me.

Anywho, the show was amazing. They've gone from being a great band to see play to being an amazing SHOW to experience. They certainly are dialing in their shows. One thing I've never seen was an acoustic set from the middle of the audience. And I've seen a LOT of concerts. I would definitely not sit on the floor again, though. I'm too old to fight to get to the front row, and craning my neck to look over someone's head gets old fast.

My cell phone's camera is pretty craptastic but I did manage to get this:

What you're seeing is the gajillions of paper butterflies that were launched from the ceiling. It was pretty rad. Also, there's a restaurant right by the arena called Agave. They have mojito stations along the bar. God love them.

So the next night was supposed to be a calm inside night of Scrubs episodes. Instead a friend called me with free tickets to a band called Ra. Not really my thing anymore, but for a free ticket what the hey? It was your basic 'modern rock' show. There were five bands, all playing basically the same thing. Each band that played next was tighter than the one before it, but they all sound the same to me now. When I was in bands like this (this would be in the early 90's) every band was wildly different. Crazy lineups, weird instruments, different points of view. And there was always a dozen kids in the crowd that had gotten hold of a jar of Manic Panic before the show. (My favorite was Turquoise and Flamingo Pink.) Now it's the same guy with the 'disturbed' t-shirt and crew cut who's all about 'kicking ass in the pit.' Or the kid who got all gothed up over at Hot Topic.

(Side rant: If you were in high school in the late eighties/early nineties and wanted to be the 'different kid' it took WORK. Hours of scouring the Salvation Army's and Goodwills to find just the right flannel and all the good black clothes you could find. It cost almost nothing but took forever. You earned your tight to be different. Now every seventeen year old Dashboard freak can go into Hot Topic with daddy's credit card and buy pre-packaged 'different' costumes for a couple hundred bucks. THIS was what Naomi Klein was talking about in No Logo.)

Still, I managed to enjoy it. good friends and a ridiculous bar tab can fix almost anything.

The next night was also supposed to be an off night as well. Then the lady friend calls. She's going to see KT Tunstall in town with a friend. That friend had to cancel. Do I wanna go? Why the heck not?

I didn't really know a ton of her music but I was familiar with it. It was good. A lot of it sounded the same but it was all entertaining and that gorgeous little lady with that aaaaaawesome Brit rasp...mmhmm.

But it was Thursday that was to be the start of something really special. That's when I saw...

For those that don't know, that'd be Nine Inch Nails. A little too much for some, this band found me right when I needed them. Thursday would be my fourth time seeing them over the years, and I can't decide if this was my favorite show of theirs or not. They're always amazing and they bring a SHOW. It's not just musicians doing their thing, there are scrims, lights aplenty, and an energy that I still haven't seen matched by a live music act.

A lot of bands will do a stripped down mini set at some point. They all grab acoustic guitars and sit on stools at the front of the stage anbd get simple. This is their version:

I don't know why I didn't get pictures of some of the more impressive visual elements. I must have been too amazed at what I was experiencing. I brought my roommate from college, who'd never truly been sold on them. By the time it was over, he was a confirmed disciple.

The plan was to see them the next night in Worcester, but apparently Trent Reznor overdid it with his voice on Thursday, so the show is postponed to November 9th. Grrrrrr!! The only consolation is that when he makes it up, he's guaranteed to bring it. Here's some other pics of that night...

Now I went back to work, and that wasn't fun. What WAS fun was my first day off. that was the night of seeing one of my other favorite bands...

You can't tell, but that's Radiohead

If you don't know them, run out and buy every album of theirs you can find. Download every scrap of music they have out there. Because they're pretty much the most important music makers out there. The fact that they can sell out 30,000+ arenas and outdoor amphitheaters with not television or radio coverage speaks volumes. A friend of mine who's as rabid a fan but never seen them was my compatriot, and we shelled out a ridiculous amount of money for well placed seats. I have a real hard time deciding whether NIN or Radiohead was a better show.

So the whole week plus was a grand success for me and I loved every minute of it.

I have new stuff to talk about, but no time to type. Next time you'll get the next installments.

2008-07-13T23:11:00.002-04:00

So I haven't updated much from a)boredom b)laziness c)nothing to talk about (yet).

However I wanted you to see this. I don't know if I'm the last person to find this or what but I looked at the keyword activity for my blog and the same search string got me to it. I laughed til tears rolled down my face. I hope she never stops.

http://www.thingsmyboyfriendsays.com/

Later, yo.

Hold on to your hats, here comes the next rant...

2008-06-26T20:56:00.002-04:00

Let's say I drove out to an audition. Let's say it was a five hour drive round trip. Let's say the audition took all of five minutes. Let's say the director barely even looked and maybe mumbled a "thank you" on my way out. Let's say that was most of a tank of gas, parking, and general pain in the assedness of driving anywhere in Massachusetts on a Sunday.

Let's say that was last weekend. Let's say that this coming weekend was going to be rehearsals for this upcoming short/independent/non-paid movie. Let's say that in July there would be seven shooting days. Let's say that as a prospective actor I've held all those days so I won't have to cancel plans in cast I get cast. Nine days, haven't been able to say yes to anything.

What do you do when you've heard nothing?

Not being cast? No big deal. It felt like the part was already someones and they were waiting out the hours. That's fine. Maybe they didn't care for my audition or just felt I wasn't right for the part. I don't care about that either. That's auditioning.

Not being told I wouldn't be used? That's a Big. Fucking. Deal.

I would think it's basic common courtesy. "Hey, sorry we couldn't use you. Thanks for coming out." Is that so goddam hard? Hell, in today's world you do that in an email and you don't have to explain anything or have to listen to sobbing. Is that so fucking hard? I was doing this out of basic goodwill. People like you make me lose that a little at a time and I hate it.

I wrote about this a while back in my letter to independent filmmakers. I will also restate my severe ire at director's who never tell you about progress on movies you've completed shooting. "Hey everybody, this is my monthly email to the cast and crew of blank movie. Had to be at my day job/class/computer crashed so I haven't gotten any work done." Is that so fucking hard too? I hate HAte HATE pestering people, it makes me feel like I'm the one being the dick, and I'm not. It tells me that my time is cheap to you, director, and I'm not part of the process. This shit gets remembered.

A new one I've found is director's who finish the movie and never bother to tell you and/or need seven hundred emails and phone calls to get the fucking copy that you were promised before you shot the thing.

This was supposed to make me less angry. It isn't.

So, readers, the question I have for you is this. Do I email this producer and politely suggest that if ever a movie is done under him/her, it would behoove them to notify those that weren't chosen? Not in an angry email, no that would be far too satisfying. Something polite.

Does that make me the dick actor?

Worst medical-legal jargon I've ever read. Got every little bit of it wrong.

No, really, they suck.

2008-06-11T20:34:00.002-04:00

I've had the displeasure of watching two movies that make me feel completely disgusted. The Strangers and Funny Games.

I'm getting a little tired of horror-type movies looking for the 'realness' of the genre. The Strangers, when not mindlessly boring, was nowhere near fun, mindless, offering little in the way of character development, and generally stupid. There was no point to the movie other than to watch innocent people be terrorized and ultimately murdered. There. I spoiled it for you. The good guys die, never had a chance. I have now saved you the nine dollars you would spend in a theater. I would rather watch Friday the 13th 2000 than this.

Funny Games I found even more disturbing. If you check out the discussion on the movie it's a statement about you the viewer. The director (who already made the movie in Germany but felt we would 'get it' better) wants you to believe that you can stop the torture at any time, just press stop.

Bullshit.

I rented this movie to watch a movie, not turn it off. Once again, no development, no reason for it to exist. There's easily a dozen shots that are longer than five minutes, none of which serve any purpose, unless the purpose was to bore me to tears.

Sorry, I rant.

(They all die in Funny Games, too. Just saved you two hours.)

Are These Really Milestones?

2008-06-07T23:41:00.003-04:00

My face has finally met the Big Screen.

In September I wrote about my first Big Movie Extra Experience. That movie trailer is here and I am in it for about two seconds. Hold the applause.

I am now addicted to Slings & Arrows. If you do theater, you know all these people. If you feel Shakespearean actors are the most insufferable of all, you'll totally get it, then you'll want to read Hamlet again.

I can't shake this feeling of creative ennui. I'm in the trenches with two different scripts that are on draft two, so everything I wrote reads like complete shit now. I'm working on the shorter of the two just to get it done and out of my head so I can make room for the next great undertaking.

The movie I was supposed to do this summer has ended up not happening due to equipment failure. Several options were proposed but none seemed to be ideal for the production staff so they decided to scrap the whole thing. I think the overall feeling is one of relief. Everybody's got things on their plate, so there's one less thing to make time for. It's irritating that schedule wrangling ended up being for nothing but I don't mind getting those days back.

Another possible film project is working its way slowly to the surface. It has several things going for it. It's local, as in less than twenty minutes from my house, it's interesting, two thirds of the cast are already awesome, and it's local. I am tired of having to drive 2+ hours to shoot from one to eighteen hours just to have to get back in the car to do it all over again. Yes, of course I'll keep doing that. But I would like this one to happen to see what it's like not being ridiculously exhausted when on set.

2008-05-27T17:56:00.002-04:00

I don't have much to say, but thought I'd pop my head in.

Really, I came to brag. I've decided to drop $ on concerts this year. I'm old enough and earn enough that I no longer need to accept nosebleed or lawn seats to see a show. So the concerts I have tickets for now are.

Coldplay
NIN
NIN
Radiohead

Yes, that's nine inch nails twice. I've seen them(him) three times in the past and that show has never failed to knock me off my feet. (Not literally, I never buy floor tickets for a show like that.)

Focus slowly returns

2008-05-10T10:04:00.002-04:00

For the past couple weeks I haven't been fired up for much. Maybe it's a subtler form of post perfomance depression, but it wasn't at all bad. I watched movies, saw friends, got a ton of sleep. I just never really felt the itch to get creative.

For two reasons the juices are flowing. One, the script I've been writing (oh so slowly) has finally been finished. At least the first draft. I've been working on it since November and it's about four months overdue. For the last week I'd been pecking away, promising to write at least four pages but walking away after two. This past week the muse sat down next to me and we cranked out the last twenty five pages in three sittings. Now it's off to the guy I'm working on the story with and we can start hacking away at it.

Finishing the first draft is always a bittersweet experience. You've finally gotten all those pages down. The big push to just get it to the the end is done. Might as well jump. (Jump!) Do a funny dance. Drink something. I did all of these things and more. Then run away from it for a week and read it all back. I promise, it'll be crap. The real work begins now.

Of course, now that I've finished the first draft for this script I have to get into story meetings with the second guy I'm working with. This involves doing a remake of an old movie, obviously can't say which. Where the other script our intention is to raise financing and shoot guerilla ourselves (and the script is tailored to it) this one is a spec script, with some nebulous connection to a NY producer. I never get my hopes up about that kind if stuff, I'm far more interested in writing the script itself.

The second thing that happened was hanging out with the Martin & Silveira boys last night. Apparently I know a little more about wrangling ProTools than they do. I've been banging my head against it longer. Ran into the boys at the watering hole at the beginning of the week and they asked me to stop by. Had a great time listening to, discussing, and playing music.

My batteries are recharged.

Juno - and my reaction to it.

2008-05-01T23:41:00.002-04:00

So recently the lady friend and myself set up on the couch to watch the courageously hip, Academy Award winning indie flick Juno. Allow me to offer my thoughts.

In the first fifteen minutes my hair blew back like the Maxell commercial from the tidal wave of hipness I was encountering. Every second, every word of this movie is a mathematically precise example of chock-full-o'-hip. The soundtrack crawled out of the speakers in its indie-unwashed-tattooed-protesting way and hung out right next to your left ear to say, "See?! We're
HIP GODDAMMIT!" In complete defiance of the fact that teenagers don't speak that way, that parents are never that cavalier about their children mouthing off in that way, ("I should smack her for saying that, but it's just so witty and clever.") Juno never breaks stride. I thought this was going to be a long trip.

From minutes fifteen to thirty, I watched with my mental arms crossed. I decided I hated this girl. I hated the boy who knocked her up. I hate the adoptive family. I am watching just to keep watching to keep my street cred up. (I have a policy of finishing almost every movie I start to watch, notable exception to this rule is Freddie Got Fingered, horrible.) Most of all I hated myself for seeing Diablo Cody accept the Oscar for best screenplay and know deep in my heart what this movie was going to be, but still wanting to believe.

After minute thirty something strange happened. I grew a callous over my over-hip sensor, immune to the pop-culture references delivered wryly and self-congratulatory. The acting went from brash and masturbatory to actually being characters that interact. Bateman I liked, personally I think he delivered one of the hardest roles, not because he was the coolest or most heroic, but because he was believable, completely.

(On one note of pop-cult reference I liked, this movie does have the best reference to 80's after school cartoons I've ever seen.)

In the end, I had to like it. I realized, again, that movies aren't supposed to be real life, they're only going for verisimilitude. I know why the 50-to-80 year olds who make up the Academy loved the S.P., they have no idea how false it is.

Oh, and the soundtrack that drove a pick in my ear? I can't stop listening to it. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

The Final Chapter of the Insanity

2008-04-21T23:40:00.009-04:00

(I promise I've been working on this for a while.)

I'm trying to wrap my head around this one.

The end is bittersweet, sometimes more one than the other. I'm really glad to get my life back. It's funny how everything else just seems to stop for a while when I'm in the run of a show. At the same time, I'm usually incredibly depressed for a few days after knowing it's all over. Any actor can tell you about post-show depression. Just ask them.

This time around, I'm not. I'm exhausted, that's for sure. Even without a rip roaring party at the end of the run, I still managed to sleep til almost two in the afternoon Sunday. Monday, pretty much the same.

But I feel okay with letting McMurphy wander his merry way off my path. Being him was definitely like slipping into a well made suit, (Friends comparisons: "He's a hard partying wiseass who bristles at authority, REAL stretch.) but for some reason this time I feel no need to cling to it. Together we said all we wanted to say, and we bounced on a high note. How many times in your life do you get to say that? Maybe I'm becoming more mature about it, or maybe it's that I have so many other things to turn my energy back to. Either way, I finish this chapter with new friends, came full circle on a few personal issues, and got to play one of the best characters written.

I feel we accomplished something that hasn't happened in the area for a long time. We put on a show that no one really thought could be done, or done very well at best. We had a pretty drama-free (offstage) run from casting through to strike. People came out to see it, people that usually don't do thea-tuh. We had huge crowds who were incredibly interactive. For two weeks we became a small spot on the area map. The show brings out quite a few generations who are all interested in seeing it. You can take that attendance as a given, but the second weekend obviously told us we were doing more than 'putting it on'.

I wanted to write some of the things that were said to me after the show, but I just realized how incredibly arrogant that is. A lot of people said a lot of nice things, and people I've never met made it a point to stop and say hi. I was very grateful for their praise.

There were a ton of funny 'woops' moments during production, I think these moments are the ones we actors remember most. I could tell you about the final night when McMurphy is supposed to make his first entrance like a tornado, all energy and laughter, but for some reason a frog jumped down my throat that moment so he entered like a British police officer 'whatsallthis'-ing. Or the night when my 'funny' boxers are supposed to be next and I drop my pants and...they...aren't...there. Or the poor kid playing the aide who I've never messed with, until he opened the door during my offstage rendition of 'F$ck you, I'm drunk.' You get the point.

There were some holes. We were so well rehearsed that when an audience showed up, people got excited when the audience responded. Some of the guys wanted to give them more, sometimes it took away from the action at hand. I don't think it ever pulled too much attention away from the spine of the show but it damages the work that the other actors put into making it the experience we all wanted the audience to have. I spent a lot of head time making sure the play honored all the characters, not make it a 'McMurphy' show. Everyone should have had their moments to shine.

The biggest question in the aftermath I heard was, "What are you going to do next?" The first was that no, uh-uh, no way am I doing Oklahoma. Sorry folks, less than no interest. I have a rule about the theater I do just for enjoyment: I should enjoy it. I do not enjoy that show, no matter how good I'd be at this or that character. Dracula, maybe. For reasons I can't divulge right now that's way too close to me personally right now, and I had a bad enough time soaking up three different versions of OFOtCN. Another group is doing a locally written show, a musical no less. I saw the original production and I liked it. Schedule can only tell.

I thought I had a lot more to say on the subject. Ah well, let's get to pictures. Apologies for the formatting, I still haven't figured it out.

l to r: Harding, Cheswick, Billy, and Martini. As fine a group of psychos as you can find.

There was a better pic of this somewhere, but I can't find it. McMurphy meets the residents. On the floor is Scanlon, back in the nurses station is Nurse Flynn.

McMurphy meets the Chief. I'm not a small guy, so you get the idea. Wonderful actor.

Martini.

I have no idea what was going through my mind at this moment, but I love this picture. It looks like I got him.

McMurphy confronts Harding. I'll pretty much work with this actor any chance I get.

It would take too many words to explain why, but this is one of my favorite moments in the show. There's no feeling like having an audience CHEER for your character.

The end of Act I, the World Series. This is an early rehearsal photo, but it's as perfect a shot as I can get. It's currently my wallpaper.

The basketball game. Good times.

I like this picture for two reasons. One, it's great moment between the Chief and McMurphy. Two, I look almost buff.

After the shock treatment. This is my other favorite moment. It says everything about this show, this character, more than I could ever say.

The amazing, incredible cast.

2008-04-21T08:38:00.001-04:00

A much longer, incredibly verbose post about the final weekend of the show and my reaction to it will show up soon, once I've finally wrapped my head around the whole thing.

And there will be pictures.

Update...blah blah blah

2008-04-19T03:46:00.001-04:00

Show tonight...amazing. Tomorrow ends it all. I wish I could begin to tell you.

I can't.

Good night.

Update on the Insane (XII)

2008-04-17T23:00:00.002-04:00

After a few days off we're back at the theater tonight for a quick rehearsal. Speed through, really, just to get our brains back into show gear. I've had a bit of a rough week. My back has decided it wants to do nothing but hurt, so I've been unable to enjoy the new incredible weather we're having. My chiropractor and I are getting to know each other very well lately.

To our surprise, there was not one, but two reviews in local papers. One took a couple pages of space. Both were very good for the show, extremely positive when it comes to reviews. Of course one paper got my name completely wrong which caused plenty of hilarity among the cast and means precisely less than nothing to me. The day I'm walking through the supermarket and someone calls me the wrong name because of a local newspaper's coverage of local theater...let's just say I don't see it in the near future.

The level of our shock was because one of these papers has gone to the trouble of letting everyone know that they don't DO that anymore. Whoever pulled whatever strings needed to be pulled, thanks. Reservations are coming in faster than our producer can write them.

I'm feeling really good about tomorrow. Don't let the vault fall now.

In other news:
I've finally gone and done it. I started watching Lost. (I refuse to link this because if you don't know what Lost is, then you sure as hell don't have the savvy to get here.) I like it. I'm neither as ravenous as die hard fans nor as angry as critics are. I'm well into the second season and find the twists not too hard to follow. Generally I like it because the production value is high, the acting is pretty damn good for tv, the directors seem to have it right, and the writing is aaaaalllllmost good. For the most part I like the writing but don't like when writers add twists without seeing where those twists go. I can see them writing themselves into a corner. I can only suspect time travel will solve these issues. (No, I'm not that savvy, I was given the hint time travel might happen.) The character writing is usually brilliant or totally ridiculous, but I can live with it.

I saw Street Kings recently. You should see it. It wasn't well liked in the critics' circle but I enjoyed it. The director had written the two movies I thought it was very similar to; Dark Blue and Training Day; and I think he upped the game. Finally he left out the sparkling clean new cop who wrestles with corruption. I've always had issues with white knights, and I'm glad that everyone here has a little mud on them. I can imagine that being a cop in one of the toughest areas of a large city removes some of your ability to think in absolutes, and this movie doesn't try to convince you otherwise.

The main reason to watch this movies is Keanu Reeves. He got back into my good graces a while ago, and I've staunchly defended him to anyone who challenges his talent. Most leading men in today's Hollywood are relative one-notes. They can change it up a bit for each movie, but they take a spine for their character and keep ramrod straight to it. They'll go deep down that path but never really stray too far from it. It's ok, that's how most of these parts are written anyway. I had always felt this true of Keanu. He had one good note: "Whoa." It worked in quite a few movies. Bill & Ted (natch), Point Break, The Devil's Advocate, The Matrix was perfect for him. Neo is a character who lives in a state of constant discovery, most of those being mind-bending. With Street Kings he accomplished two things:

1)He doesn't look like a boy anymore.

2)He never reminded me of any other character he'd already done.

He's quite dark in this movie, and his path to redemption, well, I don't want to ruin it for you. Let's just say it's nice to see him be an asshole for once.

Update on the..hell, THIS is what drugs can't even touch...(REVISED 4/14)

2008-04-13T03:48:00.004-04:00

Im changing a lot of this post because it's too self-indulgent, as if blogging isn't inherently self-indulgent to begin with. Way too morose for such a great weekend.

I write this in the wee hours after the first weekend of shows have finished, and I see no sleep for a while...because I am too high on what happened this weekend.

In this first weekend we've already broken attendance records for this group's last half dozen shows (at least that's what I'm told). Tonight the tally was around 160. I can't even remember the last time that many people came out for a show that didn't have a pit band. Granted, the show itself carries its own weight through recognition, but apparently word of mouth is already working its magic. We doubled the crowd from the first night.

It's a long standing given that Saturday night crowds are far less excitable than Friday night crowds. Tonight was the exception. Through the tinny speaker in the green room you could hear the electricity of the crowd. The first ten minutes of the show (nearly the only time I'm not either on stage or frantically getting into the next costume) I could hear the crowd work with the cast. The air popped. I don't know how to describe it if you haven't felt it before. I just knew that it was up to us to keep them alive.

And we did. ALL of us. The minor snafus kept none of the energy off the show. For personal reasonsI walked onto the stage angry and ready for war. I used every bit of that to get through the opening, and the cast and crowd carried me through the next two hours. By intermission I felt invincible. I can't even begin to describe to you how well this cast works together, onstage and off. Do I have complaints? Sure, but the overall sense of community and harmony far outweigh any of those. We got down to it and we worked. We gave that crowd everything we could, and they gave back.

I've been remiss in mentioning that the John Proctor from last year's Crucible is playing the part of Harding. In fact, he got me to audition for the show. He and the other insanos built such a believable group of wounded it was hard not to want to help them.

The reviewer who came for the dress rehearsal has posted his review on his own website here. Kind words. I know he gives nothing false praise, so his comments were especially appreciated. He went so far as to submit it to the website that's run by the local newspaper magnate, and they plan to run an edited version of it Thursday. If that and word of mouth work, hell we might come close to sell outs. This weekend there will be a lot of family and friends out for the show. Pumped. Only wish there would be more.

Update on the Insane (X)

2008-04-12T12:23:00.002-04:00

A quick recap leading up to last night...

The final dress went extremely well. The friends and family who came to see it were extremely responsive. There weren't more than a dozen people, but it felt like more like a performance than any other dress I'd been in. They were very supportive, we walked out of there confident. I decided to stay in that night and get some sleep.

Yesterday morning, opening day, I woke up and my throat felt like sandpaper. Awesome. So everything I had planned went on hold. I sat in the house, drank tea and played videogames. Before getting to the theater I picked up a bag full of drugs.

The show...

There's no way I can think anything other than good thoughts about last night's show. The crowd was huge and very responsive. The cast had an energy that fed everyone. If I had to comment, I'd say that there was almost too much energy, but I'll take that over too little any day of the week. With a bottle of water on either side of the stage and throat spray right next to them I got through the show without a problem. The crowd loved it, they were great. Awesome positive comments. I just pray all the shows go this well.

Update on the Insane (IX)

2008-04-10T10:50:00.002-04:00

I guess Tuesday was MY tense day. I'm not quite sure what it was but I certainly got snippy. I kept a pretty tight lid on it, though, I got through it without coming down on anybody. Last night's run through had me feeling good. The only thing we're missing now is an audience. Which we're getting tonight.

It's the usual thing where everyone is allowed to invite a few friends to the final dress, just to get the feel for an audience. In my case, I brought a reviewer. A local writer who haunts my favorite bar is going to be my guest, he runs a website filled with his rants on music sell outs, corporate America, and sports. They're all entertaining and well thought out. I enjoy them, particularly the music rants, we talk long hours about music. He was also one of the few people who came out to The Crucible last year. (Let's face it, there's two kinds of people in this world. Those who love The Crucible...and everybody else.) I asked if he'd be willing to give us a viewing and he said he'd be happy too. I'll post the link when it's up.

I know I wrote about the dearth of local media's coverage of local theater, been trying to think of ways to fix that. I was thinking about a website, a blog in particular, that could have a few dedicated writer/reviewers to cover whatever they could. That could be a ridiculous amount of work, I don't know if I have the time.

Apparently begging and pleading has been helping ticket reservations. It seems we've broken the hundred mark on non-comp reservations. It may not sound like much, but it's definitely encouraging.

I'll let you know how tonight goes. Hopefully it won't suck.

Update on the Insane (VIII)

2008-04-08T12:00:00.003-04:00

Production week has begun.

Had our first night with the set. It's way bigger than we imagined, but I like it more than I believed I would. Some of the guys are worried about spacing, but the folks watching seem to have no problems with it. Personally, I like some curveballs. Having to adjust to something, be it physical or 'upstairs', helps keep things from getting stale.

I have to say, I love my costume. I LOVE it. It's nothing too fancy, in fact I bought most of the stuff myself, but the effort was worth it. I scoured vintage shops for weeks finding the perfect jacket. Getting into it adds that layer of 'this is it' that ramps things up.

Tons of production photos, which are great except when you're standing on stage mostly naked and the flashes keep coming faster. Really, the pictures must be taken by the blind, because me with no clothes on isn't that pretty a sight.

On a downer note, I think some pent up feelings have started to show themselves. What's funny about it is that none of that anger is MINE. I have nothing but respect for everyone around me, and hopefully continue to show that respect. There haven't been any huge shouting matches or anything like that, just now some people seem to be putting their foot down instead of listening to each other, which is what we've been doing so well, and which has made us special in my eyes. We've also been a pretty big group of goofballs, and the director is getting pretty tired of it. A lot of that I have to own, and be more in tune with the work. Hopefully tonight we'll get some of that fixed.

As far as how good the show looks right now, I have no idea. I'm so deep into it I can't step back and look objectively.

"I Hate That Guy...I Hate ALL Those Guys" and Update on the Insane (VII)

2008-04-03T22:22:00.005-04:00

So yesterday was one of those totally bizarre, awesome, weird days that I have to tell you about.

The lady friend and myself trekked out to the Boston area to do a day of extra work in the as yet untitled film by starring a very famous funny person. It takes place in a mall.

Extras holding/sign in was in a gigantic tent outside. We get in line, probably extras #262 and #263 out of 300. There's so many people I figure I gotta know at least one or two from my last experience doing an extra gig in September, so I'm scanning the crowd. That's when I see her. It CAN'T be her, but it looks so much like her, I gotta know.

I lean in to the lady friend, "Look at her...do you think?"

"Sneak a look at her sign in sheet and make sure."

So I sneak a look over her shoulder thinking if I get caught doing this it will be another in a loooong list of embarrassing moments. Fortunately I am smooth like 007 and got the name. Yeah, it really was her. The lady friend gives me the thumbs up, go for it.

Nervous like a schoolboy I go for it.

"Um, excuse me...Kat?"

"Yeeees?"

I can see the lack of recognition, and I can swear I hear her mentally preparing the judo chop.

"I'm Kevin..."

Still nothing.

"...an actor darkly."

That's when the light bulb goes off. Yay!

And so a totally random event kicked off a day of complete tomfoolery. We ran into E, who was my partner in crime on the last gig, and made a new friend and the five of us spent the day cracking each other up. It was so bizarre, we were kinda like old friends, just without the ever having been in the same place part.

And in case any Magickat readers were wondering, she is just as (actually even more) funny, charming, sarcastic, effin' hilarious, beautiful,witty, sweet, and warm as she reads in her blog. She's now promised to come to Cuckoo's Nest so that's one more reason why I can't suck, but at least we got to meet before the show itself. Which leads me to...

Update...
We are now moving to the final week of production. Tonight's rehearsal was the last outside of the performance space, and by Monday we'll have a set to work with. I am excited and terrified at the same time. I'm excited because the cast looks so good I'm overwhelmed. I'm terrified because now I wonder if I can measure up to them.

I haven't really talked about it much, but I'm kind of shitting myself. Not in a stage fright, oh-I'm-gonna-stink shitting myself. More like a hope-I'm doing-it-right shitting myself. I've been free to say what I like during rehearsals. Mostly it's about traps that I find myself falling into and seeing others fall in as well, but I hope I'm putting my money where my mouth is. We go back to rehearsing on Sunday, and I hope all I'm doing is putting finishing touches on the character. I can't see the forest for the trees.

Right now I can't tell.

Update on the Insane (VI)

2008-03-31T15:43:00.002-04:00

Um...hi. Remember me? I know, I know. Bad poster.

Honestly there really hasn't been much to talk about. Rehearsals continue, the show gets better. My real worry is that we're already solid. I've noticed that in order to keep things interesting we're playing things up a bit, mostly the laughs. We talked about it and agreed that needed to stop. We had a six day break and then had three nights in a row of rehearsals last week and a lot of us (i.e. ME) felt totally out of gas. Thankfully this week it's come back with a ton of energy. We also aren't in the actual performance space, and set or no, that helps.

One of the great things about this performance is the sense of freedom that comes with it. Every director has their own sense of leadership, and ours really lets us make our own decisions. He only changes things when they aren't working, and doesn't really get too picky about it. Our real sense of checks and balances has been each other. As a cast we're continually having open discussions about character, how the scenes should work, how to adjust things. The great thing about this respect everyone has is when the advice come out of the blue. Someone who isn't even on stage for some scenes will approach me and offer adjustments, and they'll be totally right.

Also, with the huge mouth and fierce opinions I have, everyone is blessedly patient with it. When we've stopped and talked about things as a group I can find myself rambling on. I look over at the director and tell him to shut me up whenever. Usually he nods and tells me to get it out.

My big focus the last couple days is thinking of everyone I know and convincing them to come to this darn show. I've handed out posters, emailed, done the myspace (gag) thing, called, and begged. The group would like to see an attendance of 400 over the four shows. They read the numbers of the last half dozen non-musicals they've done. Never got over 230. Funny, you can't swing a dead cat in Western Mass without hitting a local theater group, but where's the audience? For some reason local papers won't review local productions, I guess there was bad mojo about negative reviews and nasty letters back and forth ten years ago, so it all stopped. So I am whoring myself to get people to this thing.

Update on the Insane (V)

2008-03-06T17:58:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I never made a (IV) in the last post about the show. Sue me.

So as I always do when preparing for a show I scour the internet for information about other productions, I found some stuff on "Cuckoo's Nest."

Note: Some people will not watch a movie, another production, look at pictures, or hear stories about other productions of a show once they start doing it. They feel it will affect their interpretation, and don't want to be accused of "copying" another version, or they feel it will alter their 'vision.'

Happily, I have no such qualms. In fact, when I hear someone talk about their 'vision' my brain instantly goes somewhere else, like how long until I need my next oil change. If you want inspiration, go get it. If you think you're copying someone, stop. It's not like you're going to build the crazy bridge/junk thing in Les Mis and suddenly wonder where you got the inspiration from.

I haven't found much. I was looking for clips of other productions, and mostly got a couple high school versions that were played for laughs. I can reject those outright. There was a great piece on Charlie Rose with Gary Sinise that has a couple scenes but the sound is so choppy it's unwatchable.

I DID find this. I guess I've never looked at it quite that way before. I can't say I agree that was the intent, I mean Ken Kesey was so f*cked on LSD he probably had very little idea what he writing period. But I'm willing to concede the point, if you look at it from that direction.

Thankfully, most of the time, I don't.

I've been told by more than one person that the link doesn't show where the theater itself is. Try here.

Some Fun Things to Look At

2008-03-05T11:44:00.003-05:00

A couple things I've seen floating around the internets lately. I was recently reminded of them on zefrank's site.

I've seen this twice. It's funny AND scary at the same time.

And if you ever need to know what the pinnacle of being awesome actually is, watch this clip.

Other stuff I've found that makes me happy...Webcomics. I don't read too many, chrissakes it takes me too much time catching up on blogs (I'm still catching up on some new ones) so here are my two favorites.

Questionable Content. Do I like it because it's set in my town? Yes. I actually recognize the bars and locales in the comic. But mostly I like it because it's hiLARious. Read from the beginning.

Penny Arcade. Balls out funny. If you're a gamer. If you haven't sacrificed GPA to playing Warcraft (the original) or lost two days playing Metal Gear Solid or lost a MONTH playing Neverwinter Nights, this might not be to your taste. It is to mine.

I Can't Eat that Much Rice

2008-03-04T21:38:00.003-05:00

Another night of rehearsal. Another night when I look around and wonder how I got so lucky.

Not only am I doing a show that's a favorite of...well, just about anyone who knows it, and doing the part that speaks to me, but I get to do it witht the most wonderful group of actors. I couldn't have dreamt up such a great cast.

What amazes me time and again is the quiet competence each person brings each night. There's no histrionics, no drama, just a simple working of each scene. A tweak here and there. A "Hey, I got an idea.." What's remarkable is that everyone listens to it, and everyone usually accepts it and adjusts accordingly. Our director seems to understand that he pretty much can let us figure most of it out, and only needs to jump in when it's not reading off stage. I was talking to the costume lady and watching the business on stage and realized how much was going on that I truly CAN'T be aware of. No one ever stops. No one stands, waiting for their next piece of business.

I already know this show will be incredible. How did I get so lucky?

If you're in the area (western Mass) you should come. If you're near the area, you should come. If you're way out of the area, I'll buy you a drink if you make it. Don't come for me. Come for the whole thing.

You can find the partic'lars here.

Update on the Insane (III)

2008-02-23T22:32:00.002-05:00

So last week I had been to precisely zero rehearsals. Most canceled due to weather, one big one I never wrote in my calendar, so didn't know there WAS a rehearsal until the next day's email. "We missed you last night," came from the director. Consternation on my face, I check my little calendar. Nope, no rehearsal there. Then I check the emailed schedule. Hey look, there's a rehearsal I never wrote down.

And I felt horrible. I'm a pain in the ass about scheduling enough I don't want to miss the ones I DO get to go to. So to make it up I locked myself in a room for the weekend and got off book. I had about twenty pages done, but there were fifty more to go. Now that's done, all I have to worr yabout is this damn character thing.

Rehearsal this week were, in a word, awesome. It just keeps getting better, and we've added a fun new element...

We're drinking together.

Two nights this week so far a bunch of us have made it to the nearest bar, and several of us were there when the lights went off.

It's too damn scary that it's going so well.

In other news, I did a spec commercial today. Actually two at once, but it was great fun and they should be done in a week or two, so hopefully they will be someplace online for you to see them. They're very funny "Office"-ey type stuff.

A Love Song to My Town

2008-02-15T02:03:00.002-05:00

I live in this wonderful little city called Northampton. Some of you may have heard of it. It's best known (or so I'm told) as the lesbian capital of the eastern seaboard. Check your fantasies at the door, frat boys. It might have a bit of that to it, but it's so much more.

Northampton in the 70's and early 80's was another broken mill town on the Connecticut River. No jobs, crime rampant, blah blah blah. Until a bunch of starving artists in New York couldn't afford to live ther anymore, and the rent in Noho was cheap.

Now it's a thriving haven for artists, to the ones who can afford it nowadays. (Real estate here is prohibitvely expensive.) Name your medium, it's probably living well here. (Except for community theater, but that's a much longer post.) Every day I go out onto the main drag I see something I've never seen before. Tonight it was a guy banging on a bucket and singing to it. To his defense, he sang well.

Because I'm a little bit of a lot of things, but not really great at one, I have never really 'fit into the mix'. I have good friends, great friends but I'm not the guy you turn to for a great tour of the parties of the town. I have a haunt where everybody knows my name. (Northampton Brewery, if you're in the area and miss it's amazing beer and incredible food, you should be brought up on charges.)

I could go on like this for a while, but what I really wanted to talk about was this amazing musician and friend that I had a ridculously long conversation with tonight. His name is Greg and you can check out his stuff here. I recommend 'The story of Catfish Slim'. It's what slide guitar is all about.

I bumped into him towards the end of the night, and we closed the bar and sat outside the bar and just talked about music for god knows how long. We've played together before, but he kinda breathes music the way I wish I could. I'm not a great player of music, but I think I write fairly well. Every time I listen to 'Catfish' I'm reminded of my failings. The best thing about Mr. Silvera is that he'll take your fears about music and make you realize how stupid it is. He's so inclusive about music you wish there were more musicians out there like him. the same goes to his partner, Josh Martin.

So I just wanted to give a tip of the hat to both of you bad boys, for your amazing music and your 'keepin it real'.

Give them a good listen. They deserve it. You've earned it. When I write something I hink you'll like to her, Reader, I'll post it.

You live for something, or die for...aw, hell just blow something up

2008-02-12T16:22:00.000-05:00

So in a much needed break from reality and all its shortcomings, I went to see Rambo today.

Surprise, it didn't suck.

Okay it didn't suck when you remove the moral platitudes that just don't work, the poor direction given to really good actors (Julie Benz and Paul Schulze come to mind) and the underabundance of...uh...RAMBO-ness that you'd be expecting, it wasn't half bad. At least it didn't try to be something it wasn't. Now I have to go rent the other two bad ones. (The first was a really good movie.)

Update on the Insane (II)

2008-02-11T23:59:00.000-05:00

First, I am continually thrilled with what the cast of Cuckoo is putting out, and we've had less than five rehearsals. Most of us barely know each other and moments are already happening, and scripts are still in hand. The terrifying thing is that it's going so well. I'm used to the early stages being such a mess that I keep looking up, waiting for the piano to fall on my head. Tomorrow night is the first post rehearsal drinks session, and I'm terribly excited to get to know these guys more. I think it'll be great to be able to talk about the show outside of rehearsal.

Next, a mild rant. I just finished watching all of Six Feet Under. Whoa. Earlier in the season I was itching to write a post about how much I had come to hate the show. They never shied away from taking an interesting choice, but how come I had grown to despise these characters so much? The final two episodes completely floored me, and I'm glad I never gave up. If you want to see great actors doing great acting, look no further.

Finally, the rewards of making friends. The director of The Hop and Cillian has invited me to be a part of a spec commercial. It shoots later this month. This is why you show up on time, ready to work, even though there's no money in it. You never know what will come back to you.

Update on the Insane (I)

2008-01-28T18:14:00.001-05:00

I guess this will be my series of entries on One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Along with whatever else I feel like talking about. Really it's just an excuse to not think of entry names until the end of April.

So in more sane (sort of) news my blog friend Magickat is about to embark on The Crucible in her area. She will be playing Ann Putnam, who is a ridiculously hard person to portray, simply because it's too easy to make her out and out evil and phone it in from there. To make her a real person that you at least understand takes a lot more than that. Reading her last entry she's fairly nervous about the level of preparation they'll have before opening night. If you've ever done theater, you know what she's talking about, and let's face it, Crucible is no South Pacific. You can't just learn your lines then walk on the day before. Still, I'll never stop being amazed at what can happen with three days of panic attacks.

Those of you who've been keeping up know I played Rev. Hale last year. Keep scrolling down. It's all down there. Crucible has a very special place in my heart, partly because it WAS so hard, and the reward was so great. Unfortunately, it's one of the shows you either love or hate. Most of my friends and family fall on the latter side, so I didn't have too many folks coming to it. (All completely understood on my part. I wouldn't make anyone sit through it if they didn't want to in the first place.) So for the other three of you who read this, send some good mojo her way. We should all know what it feels like to be in the trenches. Break legs, Kat, break lots of legs.

Please not your own.

All of that leads up to what's going on HERE. We had the first read through of Cuckoo about a week ago, and I couldn't be more thrilled. With a few notable exceptions, this cast is mostly strangers to me, and you always wonder before going in what it will be like. Fortunately, this group is top notch. There will be some great crazies, and our Ratched will be positively chilling.

I'm not going to say I'm not a little nervous about it, because I am. When you look at all of the phenomenal actors who've played McMurphy before it's easy to feel a little daunted. Also, for those of you who've only seen the movie, there are a lot of differences between it and the stage version. The movie is far more brooding, less about dialogue. The stage version is more on the nose, a bit more beatnik in it's sensibilities. I guess more Kesey than Forman? As much as he fits, I want to do him as much justice as I can, push myself out of my comfort zone.

So finally it leads to preparation. We start rehearsals this Sunday. That gives us about nine weeks, which just typing makes my brain hurt, but one thing I am positively good at is memorization of a script. I can barely remember important birthdays but I can have a full script in my hard drive within two weeks if I put the time in. Disgusting, I know, but I want to get out of the blocking crap as fast as possible, so I can learn how to be nuts.

At least, McMurphy's brand of nuts.

Okay, so...

2008-01-20T16:40:00.000-05:00

The only thing really worth mentioning is that tonight I go for the first read through of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Yes, I most certainly am playing McMurphy. I am pumped.

I want to speak a little about the audition process for me on this one. Auditioning for community theater, to me, has always been a frighteningly hard to predict process. The film stuff I've done is very different. I know none of the people auditioning or holding the auditions for the most part, so I feel complete freedom to fail. I put everything out there and if they want me they'll let me know. Fine, no big shakes. I like the process of auditioning very much nowadays. Trying out different roles just for an evening is fun in and of itself, as long as you can forget that it's a competition of sorts. I also tend to think that the film auditions I've done directors are taking the best fits they can find for their piece.

Community theater has so many different levels to the interpersonal connections it's shocking. Many times I've seen shows cast for friends or relations. I've known directors to give friends parts before auditions, then not tell the actors coming in that a certain role has already been filled. (Interestingly, there is one area director who pre-casts some roles, and makes it very clear before someone auditions. For this reason, many local actors will not do his shows. In the same breath they will audition for companies where favoritism is heavy but it isn't ANNOUNCED. Strange.) I've seen casting decisions that just made no sense to me. For these reasons and more I always feel a bit queasy going in to these.

McMurphy, though, he just makes sense to me. I feel drawn to this guy, more so than in most parts I've played. Being him is like getting into a hand made suit. It fits. The audition for this show I left everything on that stage, and knew it. Everyone else in the theater knew it too, you coud feel it. A friend of mine came to the initial audition and said it seemed pretty obvious. Everyone knew it. I walked out of there knowing. It felt amazing.

The call back felt like more of the same. I try to be very encouraging to the other actors around me, even at auditions when we're more or less head-to-head, but this time I knew. I felt supreme confidence. Getting the email on my birthday just made it click into place.

So now I have to prove I'm not full of crap. THAT'S terrifying.

Happy Birthday to ME...

2008-01-10T17:43:00.000-05:00

-Woke up at the perfect time.
-Nice breakfast.
-Afternoon snowboarding with my lady and my best friend.
-Email:

RANDLE P. McMURPHY

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, today is a good day.

2007-12-29T20:55:00.000-05:00

Almost literally...nothing to speak of. Lots of writing but I can't talk about that. I have a stage audition coming up but I won't talk about that. Can't jinx it.

I'm just stopping in to say I just watched AvP:R and wtf, mate? Argh! Why do movies want to hurt me so? It wasn't awful. It certainly wasn't great. It was nothing more than a good popcorn movie, meant to watch for eye candy alone and nothing like plot or character really matter. That's fine. I don't care that you're bastardizing the Alien franchise. Only some of my favorite movies ever. (Poll: Alien or Aliens? I know what I'd vote.)

But don't...ever...try to alter the plotline or infringe in any way on the original movies. And that's what those bastards did in the last line of the movie. I was willing to forgive everything else, but not this.

Random: Just watched Heat with Michael Mann's commentary. Amazing. This beautiful movie and he almost never mentions anything other than character and the choices made by the actors. The flipside is John Carpenter's In the Mouth of Madness. He describes lighting and lenses til your head hurts. Both are interesting. Heat for writing and acting, ItMoM for techie stuff.

Go watch Dexter.

Two things

2007-12-08T00:06:00.000-05:00

Of all the shows I addict myself to, Dexter has filled me with the most joy. Check it out.

I'm sorry folks. I've watched as much as I can. I don't like Dario Argento movies. If a purple and orange light is all he's got, I'm out.

Ok, ok, I didn't forget about you...

2007-12-02T14:42:00.000-05:00

...I just haven't been thinking about you. I've been doing so much other thinking that some days the idea of typing events of my life into this blog is just daunting. So I haven't done it.

The unfortunate side of effect of lazy blogging is all the interesting things I've done since my last substantial entry is no longer fresh in my mind, so you don't really get much in the way of witty or entertaining. I'll do my best...

Wait, first, coffee...

...okay. (Aaahhhh.) First, that last short I did for Emerson was an absolute one sided blast. Picture this, if you will. We're doing a film about dealing with the devil. The Friday night after Halloween. In the (I shit you not) Sleepy Hollow Cemetery. The next night we're shooting in the back alley of a haunted theater. You don't need to conjure up anything as an actor when you've got mood you can hang a hat on. The other actors were great, and great to work with. The crew that I knew were really excited to see me, and I them. These students were shooting two movies this weekend. They'd shoot ours all night then the other one all day. Their energy is just so...infectious. I always find myself wrapped at three in the morning still wanting to be there.

The director for this short was nothing short of awesome. I'm sure most of us have worked with all kinds of directors, from tyrants to mice. Some we've liked, others we haven't. Hopefully we've learned something from every one. This one, I say without doubt, is a truly wonderful director already. That's right Tina Densmore, I'm calling you out! Barely past the drinking age and she's got the right mix of confidence in herself and ability to let the actors (and crew) add to the project. When I originally got the script I had some thoughts about my character, certain ways I wanted to play it that would make it more original. Within boundaries, she left me free to explore different things. She let actors determine what worked best for them and would shoot to capture those moments we would find. At the same time, she was very clear on when to reign things in, and did so without being overly authoritative. Her crew was awesome, and you could tell they loved working for her. She was a mother hen to everyone. I never saw a crew member just walk away because they were frustrated, something I thought was pretty much a given on every student shoot I've done (and more than a few non-student films). If this business pays any attention to talent and ability, she will have a long career ahead of her.

There she is, busted finger and all. This is inside the theater, which has been mostly torn down inside.

I love getting these director-doing-directory-things pictures. I don't know where the pictures are, but I posed her with her crew pointing at something a couple times. All the good director candids they're pointing at something. In this case, it was too cold for bare flesh, hence the hands in pockets.

Other than that, not a ton happening lately in the outside world. I've been working on a script collaboration so I'm trying to kick that out as soon as I can. Those of you who might have gone over to Triggerstreet and read the short story I posted might be pleased to know that it still sits on the Daily Top Ten, which is pretty cool considering I didn't proof read it for plot holes at all. I was so nervous I finished it and fired it off without thinking. The reviews were good for finding out where I went wrong, and now I have the bug to write more prose.

I've been kind of itching to get on a stage again, but that's always such an iffy process for me. Rules I've learned about doing theater:

1) Only do shows you know. Or with a director you like to work with or a cast you like. Nothing is worse than accepting a part in a show you ultimately hate. South Pacific taught me that the hard way.

2) Don't do shows with people you've burned bridges with. Unfortunately, I have this habit sometimes. The more I watch Gordon Ramsey I realize he's a prick because he's a perfectionist, and he can't stand non-perfectionists. While I know I'm nowhere near his league of prickishness or perfectionism, I come across this way. I need to shut my mouth more often than not.

3) Schedule. This is the huge thing for me. My work doesn't allow me everyone else's Monday to Friday business hours. I've learned (the hard way) to be very upfront and specific at auditions. It's not enough to say, "Well, I have a weird schedule." Now on audition sheets I put up all my specific days from audition to wrap. This has cost me parts in the past year. In fact, it's kept me from doing any theater at all since The Crucible. But that show taught me more than any to leave nothing to chance there, which leads me to the final...

4) Reward/Effort ratio. It's gotta be pretty close nowadays. If it's something I believe in, something I want I'll move my schedule, call in favors, lose sleep and work my ass off to get it done. In the beginning I need to have the feeling that by the end I'll have no regrets.

Later.

Before the Next Big Post...

2007-11-09T23:18:00.000-05:00

...here's a small one. Go to triggerstreet.com and register a profile. In the short story section you might find a story named Trauma. It's probably written by a guy named krtshadow. He might want you to read it. He might want you to review it.

He might be me.

Just might.

Mr. Karyhead wins....

2007-11-01T04:12:00.000-04:00

...a big boatload of internet sprinkles.

(Seriously, there was no REAL prize, other than my respect, which will stand you for a few drinks in my neck, just get north, boy.)

However Mr. Disc Champion, you succeeded where others failed, and your knowledge of the pop culture that pertains to me gives you mad ups in my book. Just get up to Sox country and you'll know how we treat friends.

Everyone else, go buy Tenacious D's album RIGHT NOW. I don't know if we can relate without it.

Brain Aneurysm!!

2007-10-30T12:01:00.000-04:00

So you all know, the show went very well. Better than well, we had a lot of fun, and our audience seemed to have a good time too.

All day I'd been chugging down tea to help my voice. I'm pretty much a complete coffee person, so the tea was a welcome soother to my throat. It wasn't until an hour before the show when I wondered why I was so freaked out, pacing, sweating, heart racingly freaked out, that I realized said tea was caffeinated. I must have had twelve gallons of the stuff through the day. Good times.

My partner and I were both terribly nervous beforehand, but we settled in fairly quick. Hammerbone likes to do a min-set, then have their guests do their set, then they finish off the night. It's a nice way to do things, imho. Usually openers play to the four or five people who made the mistake of showing up on time. We had a decently packed bar to play to. We did a bunch of covers with a couple originals tossed in. crowd favorites seemed to be the Violent Femmes "Country Death Song" for mandolin and guitar, the White stripes "Little Ghost", and our totally basic version of The Band's "The Night they Drove Old Dixie Down."

The thing I was afraid of most, and this'll sound stupid, was between-song-banter. I'm a pretty funny, entertaining guy, but I can't necessarily do it on command. I hoped desperately we wouldn't be those weird guys on stage. Thankfully, the entertaining muscle was fully flexing that night. It also helped that Game 2 of the World Series was on TV. Asking for a score made it easy to get set up.

Our friends all had good things to say, and the owner actually asked us to come back to do our own show. Weird. This was all for fun.

I've been asked by a couple of the theatrical folk about the difference between doing musicals and being 'in the band.' I'll try to answer here as best I can. It's a different animal from theatre and film in many ways.

First, you have to get the right people together. Whether you're writing your own material or doing covers, the right mix is essential. It's fine to be in a show with someone you can barely stand for three months, being in a band for at least a year can take its' toll on friendships. Usually there isn't someone who's 'the director' that you go to with issues. Someone might be more or less in a leadership role but it's far more egalitarian than any stage show. The right mix of personalities isn't necessarily obvious. It's far deeper than musical ability as well. The most creative band I was ever in we almost all disliked each other, but a new song was written every week, and we were good. Comb through the histroies of your favorite bands and you'll see at least half the best were fueled by their internal strife. If you're just out ot play, you don't want that. Make sure your goals are the same.

Second, practice, kid, practice. Your rehearsals are more important than you think. Any time you get together yoiu need a clear idea of what both you personally and as a group need to get done. Don't be satisfied with less than what you need. The reason my show last week went so well was because my boy J and I have been playing together afte hours for years, and for the week running up to the show we were playing together for two to fours a day. That was for eight songs, most of which we both already knew. If you aren't tight and something goes wrong you're toast. Mostly, for that first minute on stage, when you don't know if you 're gonna fall apart or not.

What I experienced at our sound check was frightening. Being on stage was new. Dealing with mics and sound mixes was weird. I could hear myself through the PA and that's a whole different sound than I was prepared for. Not that it was bad, just that it wasn't how we'd rehearsed, and I'd have to learn mic technique over again in the first song. Fortunately I knew J, who's WAY more talented musically than I am, would be rock solid next to me. So I would have to be for him too. Pretty soon I was having fun being able to hear myself again. So practice, kid, practice.

Third, have fun. It can't be more simple than that. If you aren't having fun at it and it's not your job, why are you doing it? You can have just as much fun playing to four people as you can to four hundred if you approach it with heart.

I think that's it. Any more questions, I'll be glad to attempt an answer.

(Special prize to anyone who knows where the last two entry title came from.)

What T-Shirt do I Wear?! What T-Shirt do I Wear?!

2007-10-25T12:39:00.000-04:00

I have a gig tonight. It's been so long since I've said that it's almost funny to hear it coming from me. Nothing special or huge. A friend of mine was asked to be the opener for a pair of fellas we know called Hammerbone. He then asked me to play with him, as we are fond of closng bars then going back to my house to pound on instruments to the same five or six songs over and over. Of course I agreed. So for the past week we've been getting together to hammer out a set list and play together when sober, which is something that never really happened before.

I'm mildly terrifed and somewhat excited. It'll be fun to do it again and it's been a loooong time, more than ten years, since I played out. Fortunately nearly everyone who will be at this show will be people we know, mos tof whom have been to my house after the bar closes to hang out and pound on instruments, so they know what they're getting.

What doesn't help is that I woke up this morning sick, sick, sick. Throat thing, this sucks. Long day of doing nothing and drinking tea.

So if you're in Northamptin tonight and lookin for some hot fun swing by Silent Cal's on Pleasant St after ten. We'll be there. Drink a lot first.

P.S. Go take a listen to Hammerbone on their myspace page. Them boys is top notch.

I love the smell of death in the air

2007-10-15T18:03:00.001-04:00

Seriously, I've been writing posts for the last month, just all in my head. Then I get too lazy to TYPE them.

Not a ton of things going on. I was just invited to be in another Emerson project, which is way cool. Cool script, very weird and twisted. So it's totally inline with me.

I finally finished all seven weddings this weekend. So all of you out there know, any invitations to nuptials in the next twelve weeks will be RSVP'd with a letter bomb. Okay, probably a stink bomb, but a bomb nonetheless. (Let's see Homeland Security work on that one.)

I've had a fire lit under me by a musician friend in the last couple weeks, which means I keep trying to lock myself into my 'studio' and hammer away at stuff I've been too afraid to finish. We'll see what happens.

Saw Across the Universe this weekend. Any level of Beatle's fandom will suffice. Amazing movie. Unless of course, you're a purist. Then you might not like it. Happily, I feel no such slavish loyalty to the source material.

Hopefully I'll have more to tell you when I feel more interesting.

It stands for Hates People

2007-09-24T20:27:00.000-04:00

I had a laptop. It wasn't great, but it was nice. It allowed me to play some of my older games when I was at work (I'm totally a gaming addict, and I don't care) and I could get the real internet and not the crappy work internet that doesn't let you do anything actually useful. I could write on it, stay connected, you know, it did the things computers do.
Then it died.
I won't go into details. Really, I can't because it makes me physically ill to think about it, but basically HP sucks the big one. Service and Support should really be Shitting on Suckers. Not only was it impossible to understand them, but just when you think the next call can't get any worse, they went and screwed it up more. I took it to someone and they told me what I didn't want but needed to hear: she's dead, Jim. Cost more to fix than replace. that was more than a week ago.
TODAY I get a call from a Customer Service Manager from here in the good ol' U.S. of A. Here's what I basically told him:
"While I do not hold you personally responsible, your company's claims of caring about your customers is completely invalid. If I had to wait this long to reach someone who could understadn me, you've failed. The BBB already has my complaint. I even sucked it up and bought a new HP from Best Buy and guess what. I'm in the parking lot right now to return it. It runs like a donkey, it already locked up twice. I contacted your crappy tech support a week ago and haven't heard from them. Thank you, HP, for sending me back to Dell."
To Best Buy's credit, they didn't even try to charge a restocking fee.
In lighter news, I saw the lady friend's production of Baby yesterday. Amazing. God, that girl's good. I barely even liked the music before yesterday, despite auditioning for it. It's also interesting to be at a cast party for a show you weren't in. I've done this before, but this is the first time I've really thought about this. Every production has its own secret language, sayings and instances that you had to be a part of to understand. I didn't know it, and I miss it.
Lord please, don't give me the theater bug again. I'm barely done with all the $%^&ing weddings.
Also, welcome Stephon to my list of blogs. Just looking at how long you've had it, I'll still be trying to catch up on your blog when I'm having my first bypass.

Wake up with a YARRR!

2007-09-19T17:20:00.007-04:00

What did you do for International Talk Like a Pirate Day? I'm stuck working, but you should drink rum and wear an eyepatch. I pitched in by getting everyone else here to talk like a pirate. "Poop deck" jokes never get old.

Some of the movies I've been in are nearing completion. Let the salivating begin. This brings me to...

A Letter to Directors/Filmmakers from the "Talent"

Part III: Post Production

So now my part is pretty much done. Other than some things I'll get to later, you really don't need me anymore, do you? I've said my lines, emoted my...emotions. We've been up ridiculously late hours together, eaten bad food together, joked, argued, and hopefully had a good time.

Please don't forget about me.

To date I can think of one, that's right one, director who has given me or any of a cast updates on their own. As far as it seems to me there are two times a director contacts the cast.

1. We bug them for an update.
2. We're needed to fix something. (Reshoots, ADR)

I'm an understanding guy. The rush and excitement of production is over, it's just you alone with your footage. Sometimes a lot of footage. We all have bills to pay or classes to pass. I didn't do it for money or fame, so there's no real deadline for me. I understand that there are snags. Computer snafus alone can lengthen a project by weeks. I get it.

Email isn't hard.

Once a month, once every six weeks, I don't care. A simple mass email, "Still working on it, haven't forgotten it," will work. If you have to abandon it I'll be disappointed but am I going to put a gun to your head and make you finish it?

On the subject of reshoots and ADR, all I want is some heads up time. Really, after not talking to me for a year don't ask me if I'm free in two days to shoot more stuff two hours away. I might say no on principle alone. (I'm not saying this happened, but I'm not saying it didn't.) What if I grew my hair out? Shaved it? Lost my right arm and half my head in a freak train accident? Got a tattoo of green rhinoceros on my face? These are possibilities. A little lead time is kind of necessary.

So, updates and lead time. What does that leave us with?

COPY

Yeah, that's what I want. I didn't drive all over, stay up through the middle of the night, take vacation days, or get myself sick so you could get an A in your film class. I did it so I could act, and learn from that acting. And maybe, if we all pulled off something nice, have something for a reel. So I need something tangible. It's called a DVD.

(I certainly do hope you got an A though.)

Another thing that would be nice is some kind of feedback. How was I to have around? Would you recommend me? Where can I improve? You might find this hard to believe, but asking me the same questions might be useful to you. Some of us have been doing this for a long time. We might have some insights you can take along with you.

Remember, actors are a strange community. You as the filmmaker/director might feel that the power is in your hands when it comes to casting your next project, but if I'm respected among my peers and feel that you don't hold up your end of the bargain, you might find it hard when you're looking to fill your next roles. I'm just sayin'.

Well, I hope this has all been helpful. Don't take it too hard if you feel I've ranted. I'm not bitter. This whole 'letter' has been a list of things I've wanted to say to different people at different periods. I hope some directors out there read this, and by reading it gain a little insight into how the 'actor creature' works. We're fun, really.

And to the actors out there who read this, feel free to add your thoughts or suggestions to this letter. Write your own, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Come to think of it, directors too.

Now I'm off to hoist the mainsail ye' scurvy skalawags, there be a bit o' a meal waitn fer me.

YAR!!

2007-09-15T00:38:00.000-04:00

I promised some description of the actual shooting of this movie, so I'll at least give you some of my thoughts.

First: Boy they spend money like it grows on trees. To think in any other business the kind of delays that they weren't fazed by, that cost them tens of thousands of dollars...it just wouldn't happen. I suppose when you HAVE money it isn't such a big deal.

Second: The 'stars.' They were good. Very good. Better than I've seen from people out here in the wilderness of Western MA? Can't really say so. Makes a fella wonder what would happen if he took the big shot at it.

Third: The PA's and AD's. You know, everything I've heard and read about being an extra made me leery of them. I gotta tell ya, they were AWESOME. They were never less than positive and usually seemed to be having a really good time. I was mentioning this to a PA (or extra wrangler, as I call them in my head) who was over and above cool and he said, "Hey, we're making movies. It's supposed to be a fun job. Us guys want it to be fun for everyone."

There was a band in some of these scenes, and they hired a real band, but the band never actually plays anything. The horn section couldn't...well...not play when they were together all that time. In holding they'd do a name-that-tune of your favorite movie themes and TV shows. Personal favorite: The Simpsons and the Star Wars Cantina. Every now and agian they'd get...into it. Next thing you know there's a full on Cajun horn jam happening. When the doors burst open you expected hellfire and damnation from the AD, but he couldn't get the smile off his face it was so much fun. So he'd clap for them and then plead for quiet. Good times.

I'm not sure how or why but I made, apparently, a favorable impression on the casting director. More work. Sweeeet.

Oh yeah, the shameless hitting on of young ladies reached a peak on the last day. Whoa. Now I wasn't cruising for the ladies on the shoot, but I felt like taking some of these guys by the shoulders and telling them to get some game or get the hell off the field. I would, really I would, tell you some of these openers but I just don't think you'd believe me. (Here's a tip fellas, don't start a come-on with, "I'm not coming on to you but...") Ah, the smell of desperation.

2007-09-07T11:52:00.000-04:00

In both an effort to keep posting and an influx of new things to write about, I have stuff to tell you.

My extra experience on this set has been almost completely the opposite of my last one. It's a big movie, with big names, and apparently well run. There are things to do, food to eat, and chairs to sit on. Most importantly, there are people whom I enjoy being around. (Is that the right use of whom?)

Unfortunately for me, Boston is a two hour ride each way. Unless it's between 630 and 900 in the morning. Then it's a three hour drive. I got there late the first day, freaking out. No need, there were still twenty people in line waiting to sign in. Originally I thought this was a smaller scene but there were close to three hundred extras there. My first thought was, fine. It'll be a good experience to learn what these big sets are about. I ran into one acquaintance from a movie I did in November, he's since become SAG. Something of a raise of the eyebrow there. I haven't actually been pursuing the unions yet, but this guy, well, let's say I realized that it wasn't WHAT you know. Turns out there were a sh$tload of SAGers there. (Duh) All of them local. I felt like I'd just pulled my head out of the sand.

I settled in for a long day of sitting around. I had my book and was looking for a place to sit when I walked by a PA who tapped me and said to go out to another spot to learn the next scene. Cooool. Not an upgrade or anything. Just a brief bit that would be an integral part of a scene where they needed a bunch of extras. (Background Artists, as some people put it, all I can do is shake my head) After that a big scene was about to go up and they started pairingus off as couples. That's when I met my first snarky companion. E, as we'll call her, was tons of fun. As completely sarcastic, fun, and funny to be around as the best I've met. She already knew everyone on the crew and some of the producers, and had a bunch of experience in doing these things, so it was great to pick her brain and realize most of my preconceptions were pretty much on the mark. We bonded in our annoyance at the pretentious SAG extras and the camera-whoring, upgrade-seeking non-unioners like myself. Hm, let me explain.

I'm very pro-union, don't get me wrong. My entire professional life I've been a union member. I've been a shop steward. The protections that SAG get are hard earned and well deserved. It's the 'I'm SAG so everything's my way' attitude that kills me. I don't care about the union vs non-union lunch service line, I hate the woman who sits down at the table declaring it was an atrocity she had to wait for an extra half-hour in the SAG line for her salmon. Then there was the guy who demanded that the non-unioners get to the back of the line at the end of the day to turn in wardrobe. The PA's were kind of forced to do it at that point, I guess. Those are the people that make unions look bad. At least they were fun to scorn.

As a non-union actor, I know exactly what it's like to feel like the bottom of the barrel on the shoot. Last called, last taken care of. Everyone wants to join but no one's opening the doors. The fabled 'voucher' as the carrot on the stick we all chase. I know. I want it too. The pay difference alone is astonishing. But haranguing the crew, producers, and casting director aren't the way to get there. I overheard the casting director telling an assistant about a person form the day before who came to him and said, "I was here all day and didn't get used. I sat around until midnight, can I get a voucher?" Puh-leeze. I know I'll eventually get it. Of course it might take some time. I'd rather show myself as a good sport, easy to work with, and understanding when things go wrong. If you want me, come and get me. If you come in the room and you ask if people want to be in the scene, my hand will be raised. I will not harass the AD's to see if I'm (snort) needed.

Which brings me to Meatballs. These are the people you find on every set. The ones who are completely unaware that they are being asses, loud, pretentious or just plain idiots. The ones who shamelessly hit on every one who crosses their path. The ones who don't know how to *shut the fuck up* when you're supposed to be pantomiming clapping, then bark at another extar for dioing something wrong next to him. (I am totally not specifically referring to someone. Not at all. Really. Wouldn't dream of it.) The ones who see you reading your book but will never stop telling you another story. The ones who 'really shouldn't be here, it's beneathe me.'

By the end of day 2 E and I had assembled a group of snarky compadres. We had our corner, or table. If you weren't on of the Snarkalicious Crew and tried to sit at the table, or joing the discussion, you were given something of a brief trial period. Upon the slightest whiff of Meatball the whole crew became silent. No conversation. Not rude, just..nothing. Once we were oviously uninteresting or, more importantly to said Meatball, uninterested in them, they would move on, and we could continue our merry conversation. Our favorite was the difficulty of clear, concise directions. The AD comes in, "I need x people who were in the last scene in this area to get to set." All around the room:

"What did he say?"
"Was that where I was?"
"Was that the scene from today or yesterday?"
"You think I should just go?"
"I'm calling casting."

It reinforces my opinion that while a person might be intelligent, people as a group are pretty f%cking stupid. Despite all this (or because of it, I had lots of fodder to hone my sarcasm on) I really enjoyed the past three days.

Next...I'll talk about the actual shooting.

Oh yeah

2007-08-28T11:26:00.000-04:00

How could I forget?

I booked my first professional movie. :)

Yeah, it's as an extra. Yeah, it's nonunion. But I did have to go get fitted for a costume. It's five days of work, on a film with some really big names. :) Not completely sure what I'll be doing, but it sounds as if it should be really interesting.

I'll let you know how it goes.

What's the Time...?

2007-08-27T14:17:00.000-04:00

Or...

Children are Sticky

or...

The Fabulous Life of...

or...

Oh my god, it hurts

These were all titles of posts I meant to write. I have some updating to do, if you haven't noticed.

My week in L.A. was a ton of fun, and I should have posted every day, there was always a story to tell. But I was on vacation, and I was watching children, so no dice.

I was out there with my sister and her family. There's a 4 month old nephew ou tthere I have to imprint myself on, so my trip was to L.A. when it's really #$%^in hot. By far, I had the most painless flight out ever, and immediately passed ouot on arrival. This has less to do with fatigue than a jet lag survival mechanism. This time, however, it did not work. I was out of sorts that whole week. I've been back for five days and just now I'm getting my sh!t together. Getting old has its disadvantages. (this is the first half of the reason I chose the title for the post...keep reading)

The children were fun. Well, sort of. Don't get me wrong, they're two handsome boys, one 2 and the other an infant, but Nephew the Elder is in something called the Terrible Twos (I didn't think that was REAL) and Nephew the Younger apparently has more lung in his body than anything else. That kid could CRY. I was heartily impressed. I made sure to push my sister and brother in law out the door as often as possible cause really, how often do they get to go out on their own? You could see the hesitation at times. Can't blame her, we did grow up together. So I said, "What are they gonna do, cry at me? I'm bigger." See, uncles heartstrings are harder to pull. When it was bedtime, it was bedtime. Diapers were fun. By fun I mean not fun at all. Oh, and the trick to quieteing any kid down is the Disney movie about the fish. You can play it ad nauseam and they never get tired. Just like when I was a kid and HBO played Red Dawn five times a day. (Woooolveriiines...)

One night I got to go out with my fabulous friend Sharon. We had dinner in Studio City then hit Katana, where the beautiful people are. She's a ton of fun and a workhorse so if her headshot crosses your desk, use her.

The next day we went to the beach and I found out something about sunblock. Or at least incorrectly applied sunblock. I burned to the color of an angry tomato. This knocked me out for two days, which gave me enough time to burn through the last of the Harry Potter books, so now I can exorcise him from my life, until the next movie comes out. My sister used some of my downtime to leave me and the kids and go to some L.A. blogging parties. She's a blogger of some notoriety here.

My last full day we were just lounging around in the morning when she said her husband had volunteered to take the boys, so we could go out my last night in town. Cool, we said, then thought of almost nothing to do, until she was perusing the paper and said, "Hey, the Beastie Boys are playing tonight. You like them don't you?"

And that, my friends, was what time it was. Time to get...(oh yes)...Ill. Fantastic seats at the Greek Theatre, a wonderful place to see any show. Thousands of thirtysomethings singing along to Paul Revere, the Maestro, Intergalactic Planetary, Sabotage, and all you're favorites. Finally, after all these visits, I had a celebrity-ish sighting in the crowd, but who cared? My sister who likes them but is a bit less versed in Beastie lore had an amazing time watching all the sarcastic coolly apathetic L.A. hipsters go nuts.

And I missed my flight home. Not my fault, but missed nonetheless. To make up for it, the first half was first class. Not a bad deal.

2007-08-15T09:32:00.000-04:00

You might be wondering where I've been. Why I haven't posted. You might be wondering if I care anymore. Well, I do. The simple fact is that I've had next to nothing to write about for you dear readers.

The Summer Wedding Marathon of '07 is officially over, thank Croesus. I'm heading out today to L.A. for a week to visit my sister and nephews. Good times. I just wish I was more rested. With work and all the other crap that's been the majority of my summer I would have preferred a cabin in the woods. Hell, a cave would do.

With broad-band access, of course.

Now I am Complete

2007-07-03T10:39:00.000-04:00

I saw it. There are no words.

I felt like a kid again. Stupid lines, thin love story (who cares), huge gigantic robots battling in the street. AWESOME.

I'm not gonna say there was nothing wrong with it. It took a little while to get moving, and some of the action sequences were confusing, but who cares? Did I mention GIANT ROBOTS battling in the street?

Some will complain about the changes from the original cartoon. In the court of my opinion those complaints can be directed to the nearest cinderblock wall. It kept the spirit of the cartoon I watched as a kid from the cheesy Autobot lines to the bad post-action one liners. There was enough hilarity in it to keep it kid friendly. (Funny, though, no too many kids in the theater. Mostly 30-35 year olds. Hmmmm.)

And though I normally hate this, they left room for the sequel, which rumor has there will be at least two.

Sweeeeeeet.

Overheard in my local movie theater

2007-07-02T10:29:00.000-04:00

"I'm not gonna lie to ya...I am f#cking pumped for this movie"

As heard by my lady friend every time we walk by the huge Transformers display. Said by yours truly. I am taking a big bath in dorkness and feel not one once of shame. I might have referred to it as a Transformers-gasm. When I say might I mean I say it all the time.

I have, at this point. This entire week with nothing to do. One audition for Baby and that's it. No overtime. No filming. Nothing.

So now I can get my house in decent shape, exercise, do some writing, play some music, have drinks with friends. It's gonna be nice. Until something happens, which always does. Liek Garrison Keiller says, "If you find yourself happy, just wait a few minutes."

Oooo, I can get a haircut! Now that Very Small Rooms is done shooting I can chop the mop. It's been way too long for three weeks now.

2007-06-30T12:11:00.000-04:00

This past week has been nuts.

Loosely, worked all weekend, with that shoot on Saturday as well. As an update, the director said that she felt she got it (the scene I sucked in) and it'll do the picture justice. I was willing to go back and do it again the next day if she'd asked.

Monday through Wednesday night was shooting Very Small Rooms. During the days I was searching for, then seeing a new chiropractor because my back has been in excruciating pain the last two weeks and I'm too pig-headed to do anything about it. Wednesday was the longest, adn the hottest, but we pulled off some shots that were f^cking brilliant, seriously. These filmmakers are totally self taught. They don't know much of "the lingo" and have none of the jaded hipsterism I hate so much. But their vision and writing speaks for itself, and they've educated themselves well. Very proud of them.

So Wednesday night (Thursday morning) we finish at about 2:30am. Hour drive home. Must be in Fitchburg, MA by 9am for more Zombie University shooting. This was guerilla at its best. The normally quiet street we were shooting on was busy because of construction on some other street. The producer on the director disappeared for ten minutes, came back with a couple of "procured" orange cones and blocked off the section we needed to work in. Ah, the power of orange cones. The officers who drive by didn't even look twice. Unfortunately, I also had to be covered in blood during the noon day sun. Irish men like me don't take the sun too well, so I got burned as well as blood-soaked, but it seemed to have turned out well. Apparently my stock is rising in the zero-to-low budget, super-independent filmmaking community of New England.

Finally, last night, I got some decent sleep. Once this weekend is done I will have five, count 'em FIVE days with nothing on my schedule...

Yet.

A Letter to Directors/Filmmakers from the "Talent"

Part II: Production

So here we are...time to shoot! For me, obviously, this the most exciting time. This is where I put it all on the line. I want to deliver for you, so there's a couple things that'll make it easier for me.

1. A detailed schedule: Where and when should I be? Call times, directions to locations, personal costumes I need, this is great when it's all on one piece of paper if possible. When it comes to call times, I know it's easiest to just call everyone for the day, but if you know you aren't going to use me for at least the first four hours, make my call reasonably within that time frame. (I know you SAG folks get day rates and all that, I'm talking about us free actors out there.) I'll get the message that you respect my time, and I will respect yours as well. If I'm consistently late you should probably speak to me about that, or make my call time earlier. The less time I'm in holding the more fresh I am to perform well for you.

A shot list would be awesome. I almost never get these. Unless it's your directorial decision to keep the actors in the dark to get something you're looking for, the more information we get, the better. Some liaison between the cast and the production crew is awesome as well. Are we delayed? I understand delays completely, just let me know about them. But a shot list lets us know and prepare for where our characters are in the flow of the script, and maybe get in a little rehearsal time before that shot goes up.

Also, let me know before that day if I'm jumping off something, fighting someone, or getting covered in anything gooey, please.

2. A place to sit. I'm often surprised that this is overlooked. Before I get into it let me say this, I am amazed at almost every crew I've ever seen. You folks work tirelessly, around the clock at times, with little to no break. The boundless enthusiasm you show keeps me in check when I get cranky. I also understand that you're working this hard to make my shots look as good as they can, and I love you for it. I get irritated with actors far more often than I do with crews.

That said, give me a place with a chair. There's usually a lot of time where I have nothing to do, and nothing makes it longer than being uncomfortable. I'm not asking for a trailer with a masseuse (although I'd never turn that down) just a little corner to myself.

3. On Shooting and Pre-shot preparation. As actors, we need to find a flow, a way to convey the emotion you're looking for. In theater, more often than not, the flow is easy. We go from beginning to end, the arc is easy. For you, though, the shooting is done out of order, on different days, blah, blah, blah. We might need a minute or two. I know you spent an hour getting the lights right and you want to get the shot and move on, but I want to give you the best shot possible. Give me some advice beforehand. Consider what the shot is. Heavy? Emotional? I find it best in that situation if the crew keeps the mood down. I love to engage in on set tomfoolery as much as anyone, but if you want tears, I can't be cracking up. After the take, let me know how I did. Some of us need one sentence, some of us need a conversation. You'll figure it out quickly.

Oh yeah, what shooting ratio are you looking for? It helps me if I know you're paying out the ass for stock, so you want to use as little as possible. In that case, I'll try to nail it in one or two. If you're swimming in DV tapes and don't care, I'll experiment and give you a bunch of different things to choose from when you're editing.

4. On Divas, Whiners, Complainers, No-Shows, and Just Plain Difficult Actors. Um, beat them? Honestly I try not to be one of these, and I think I'm pretty succesful there. I try to complain only when I'm at the end of my rope, and try to do it in a way that's helpful to all involved. Some of my fellow actors drive me nuts, because they seem to think they're entitled to something just for showing up. The only thing I can think of is to mollify them as best you can, see if you can give them some task to busy them, yes them into submission, kill them with kindness, or send them packing. I'll try to help if I can.

That's all I can think of now. If I got nothin' else stay tuned for Part III: Post

(P.S. Does anybody care if I'm writing this? If not, I won't bore you with my opinions.)

2007-06-23T22:36:00.000-04:00

Filming Very Small Rooms has also been a whirlwind tour of differing houses. Some, kinda gross. Others, mind boggling. Todays was mind boggling. Such a big beautiful house. It makes me sad because I think there's no way I can make the kind of money it takes to own and maintain something on that level.

I don't get much after-shoot time to hang out with everybody because it's either way too late or I have to go to work ASAP. One of the actors gave me a really nice complient today. She had watched some of the dailies and said she found me very subtle and believable. Then we had a nice conversation about my approach to acting, theater vs. film, and so on.

Then we went to shoot my character's climax. And I sucked. Sucked sucked sucked.

2007-06-21T22:43:00.000-04:00

What, has it been that long already?

I always feel like I'm out here in blog world and just never get around to typing. I'm still keeping up with you all, though.

It's been a crazy, fun, rough couple of weeks. Filming "Very Small Rooms" has taken a lot out of me. A lot of late nights, some unexpected, most at least fun. this is a group that hasn't really been trained by anyone else, so they basically made up their own terms for things. At least they learned well.

Two of my best friends are getting married this summer. One more this fall. One of them we took care of two weeks ago. Great fun and almost a mini-vacation.

My shooting schedule meant I could attend precisely none of the Boston International Film Festival where December 31 is playing. That link finally gets you to a trailer.

I thought the next few days would bring some relaxation. Not so much. There's been so much crap going on.

It lives

2007-06-06T12:24:00.000-04:00

Hey.

Long time, huh?

I know.

I never write, I never call. I'm a bad friend, blog.

There hasn't been much of note going on through May. Trying to work a ton, because I'm poor, and have a zillion weddings that I might have already complained about already. (But I'm REALLY excited for them! Good people, but all at once!?)

This week started filming of Very Small Rooms. Good people with a wickedly good sense of humor. Should be a good month.

Been working on a series of shorts with a friend. We'll be preproducing through June and most likely July. We hope they'll do good things.

Other than that, everyone, not much else.

But this is something I've been thinking about for a while. Hopefully this will get me to write more often. Time will tell.

A Letter to Directors/Filmmakers from the "Talent"
Note: This is for first-time, low-no budget, and student directors and filmmakers, based on several experiences I've had in the past few years.

Part I: Casting and Rehearsal
First, thank you for having me at your casting. I'm sure you're very excited about your project, and I'd like to join your enthusiasm. This should be easy to tell since I must have found out about your audition and contacted you in some way. Maybe you've seen my headshot and resume. Maybe I walked in off the street. Either way, I'm here, so that says something, right?

Now I know different directors like to audition in different ways. Some have sent me the entire script to read and asked me to choose a role I feel would be appropriate. Personally, I favor this approach. Having read the script beforehand I can know what kind of project I'm putting myself up for, and what I where I might best fit. Sometimes I'll get a few pages highlighting dofferent characters. Sometimes I'm asked for a monologue, sometimes it's a purely cold read. I'm not against any of these, sometimes they're even fun. If you like what you see, I'd sure like to hear that. Go ahead, ask me to do it again. Ask me to give you a different feel. Direct me, if you'd like. I want to show you what I'm capable of. Let's shoot the breeze for a minute if time allows. We can get used to each other, maybe even get a feel for how well we'd work together. But please, don't say something like, "you almost definitely have the part." Then I know someone will walk in after me and do a better job. You don't have to be mean if you didn't like the audition. A polite thank you is fine.

Now let's say I had a grrrrreat audition. We all clicked, I read well, I took direction, we had a good talk. Or even a decent audition. Or a horrible one. You know what I'm gonna do when I get home? Expect to hear from you. You've probably given me at least a rough idea of your production schedule, so I'm going to eye my calendar and try not to put anything in those days. That anything could be more hours at the day job, time with my family or friends, another acting gig. But I got to you first so I think it's only polite to wait to hear from you. I gotta tell ya, it stinks when I hear nothing at all. Even auditions I've felt badly about, it's be nice to get a call. Email is perfect if you feel uncomfortable telling someone they didn't get it. It can be as simple as, "thank you for auditioning, we couldn't find anything for you." You could even say why you didn't cast me if you feel it will help me as an actor. Some of us would like constructive advice. Either way, those days on my calendar can now open up, and I won't feel silly for holding them right up to the end. I've gotten some great emails and messages about why I didn't get cast and there were no hard feelings at all. I can tell you one thing, if I don't get any word from you, I'm most likely not going to audition for you again. Also, if someone I'm working with asks me, I'll be honest.

Now let's say you cast me. YAY! Good choice on your part! I must say, you have good taste. What would I like next? Well, a script would be just about awesome. You know you can email one of those, right? No? Well, you can, usually as a PDF. I'm sure someone can walk you through the steps. The other thing I'd really like to do is rehearse.

Now when I say rehearse I don't mean right before the shot. I mean before we ever put anything to film/tape. Let's get together, have a cup of coffee, chat about the script. I know as a writer that a solid actor will attempt to understand his or her role far better than I as the writer could. The actor will delve into much more detail, get immersed in the role. This I will promise to do to the best of my abilities but I might have some questions. A little one on one with you would be great. Plus getting together with the other actors will really help me. Let's all sot and talk about it. Unless there's an artistic reason for it I think it's a really bad idea to put a cast together for the first time on the shoot day.

I'm just sayin'.

Coming soon (i.e. when I get around to it) Part II: Production

The Big Lull

2007-05-16T13:20:00.000-04:00

Haven't written in a while. Truth be told, I have nothing to report. With The Crucible finished and now that I've recovered I basically have to work my ass off through May to both refill my empty bank accounts and pay off all the favors I owe. Also, from May to July I have four weddings to attend, three of which are very close/family and two of which involve travel/hotel. I'm about to pull my hair out trying to figure it all out.

To make matters even more fun, June is basically tied up. Throughout the month I will be in a movie called Very Small Rooms, a UConn based film. I'm very excited about working on this film and I have a lot of confidence in the director and her team. And there's some money involved, which is really nice. It also means that between shooting, work, and my Best Friend Mike's wedding I will have maybe five days off, in which I will attempt to work.

The Boston International Film Festival has announced their schedule. This is the group I did the film December 31st with. The day they're showing it, I'm at Mike's wedding. So much for schmoozing with the bigwigs. Of course, I haven't seen any of it yet, and I really wouldn't want to roll in there without seeing something first. What if I suck?

Threads just had a screening this week. Of course, I had to work. It's not a final print, though.

The great thing about my work is that a lot of days (as in, not nights) I have off so my landlord/neighbor/friend-who's-ALSO-getting-married have rediscovered our love of tennis.

I guess that's it.

Crucible: Done

2007-05-01T12:45:00.001-04:00

This could be long.

Normally I don't tell too many folks about this blog. The fewer people, the more I can write without limits. This is my little place where I can vent frustrations. But more often than not I find myself erasing a lot of my vents, for all kinds of reasons. I'd read them back to myself and think, "woah, kid. Take it easy." Sometimes I'm too self-absorbed. (HA! An actor calling himself self-absorbed. Welcome to redundancy, people.) Sometimes I fly off the handle. Sometimes I just don't want to be so damn negative, so I pull a lot of it down. The few things that stay are usually well reasoned and really reflect my frustrations. When they're directed at someone I know, and if that person happens to be you, please only take extremely small offense. I've probably said it to you before I put it here. Most likely if you keep reading you'll see me write something really nice about you, too. I try to appease the karma.

Current readers, help me out. Am I a prick?

On to the The Crucible...

The first weekend was, honestly, a slight downer. Performances were good. Great, actually. But I never got the idea that our audiences were pulled in by it. The comments that my friends made were sort of positive but never really hit praise. That's fine, I prefer honesty above all else. But I couldn't shake the feeling that we missed it somehow. Maybe we made each little piece so shiny the whole didn't hang together. (Does that even make sense?) Thursday morning's show did nothing to help. Sitting at the front of the house was about sixty 11-13 year olds. I can only imagine what I would have been like having been forced to sit in a chair for an hour and a half at a time to watch subject material that they probably couldn't have cared less about. They got pretty shifty, and there were plenty of conversations I could listen to from the stage. It was a pretty good rehearsal at least.

So we come in Friday night and I don't know if everybody felt it but I definitely sensed as a group we were looking to find that something. That something turned out to be our last three audiences.

They were incredible. I've found that doing a comedy is easy to gauge an audience. If they're laughing, you got em. Drama, though, is way harder to gauge. You have very little cues to tell you if your audience is getting it. Not this weekend. You could hear the tension, the reactions to the absurdity of it all. Those are the moments you keep.

As Hale, I share the final moments of the play on stage with Elizabeth. Those moments are heavy, HEAVY, HEAVY. Sometimes I felt myself manufacturing emotion to get there. (The school show, definitely.) Last weekend, thanks audience, didn't need to do a thing. Also, a huge thanks to Nick, the fella who played John Proctor. Moments I never had to make happen usually centered on him. He played Proctor with such awe-inspiring talent I was honored to have shared the stage with him. With all of them. Anyway, normally, his last moments on stage are for the audience, and for his wife. Last performance, he looked at me for a very small time.

He might as well have kicked me in the chest. Not a whisker of acting there. In my head, "Ah crap, that sonofabee got me. I'm gonna cry like a baby." Crying, open weeping, might or might not have actually happened. And that moment wouldn't leave. I go down to the green room post curtain call and I'm just standing there when Tess, our Mary Warren, comes and gives me this big hug because she watched it from the wings for the first time. I think, "Damn, again."

Awesome cast party. This is a show where with such a big cast (22) usually there's someone in it that you don't click with. Not here. Both on and off stage everyone got along with each other fantastically. Even putting up with me. This experience has been truly, overwhelmingly positive and none of my complaints or qualms are gonna stick with me as long as the gratitude I have towards these people.

Morning comes hard

2007-04-26T00:28:00.000-04:00

We're performing The Crucible for a couple of schools tomorrow. At 9:15 am. Call time? 7:45. That isn't even right. Then on with the rest of the run.

We were received well, at least as well as a show like this can be. Family and friends told me, "great performance, too bad we hate The Crucible." Sigh. I guess you can't blame them for that one. It starts off down and takes you on a three hour trip farther downward. There's no light moments. The very few brief ones you can find are instantly crushed by the next line. I guess it's a love it or hate it thing.

One thing I've always hated are matinees. Hate hate hate them. The one saving grace to them is all the senior folks who come out to them. They're always a treat.

The performances themselves were great. Lots of tasty moments on and off stage. Great things I'll remember for years.

I don't want to get up in the morning.

Opening Night

2007-04-21T14:50:00.000-04:00

The thrill of opening night. If you haven't done it, you wouldn't know. If you have, I don't need to describe it to you. I always try to steal a second on stage before the house opens, just a second of quiet.

Last night was exactly the performance I was hoping for. Everybody ramped it up a notch. The audience was smallish, but we were received more than extremely well. I couldn't be happier. At that last moment before the lights die, I knew without a doubt that I am glad, truly, deeply glad, to have been a part of this show.

Now let's hope I don't screw the pooch in the next week and a half.

2007-04-17T14:08:00.000-04:00

Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, you are one of the undead, so I guess that already disqualifies you on the lucky scale. So, uh, ok...do you feel less unlucky, punk?

2007-04-17T14:07:00.002-04:00

Sing along everybody!

Because it's THRILLER!

Thriller night...

2007-04-17T14:07:00.001-04:00

Me=Badass

2007-04-17T14:05:00.000-04:00

Do you smell something funny? Cause I smell something funny.

(That swamp was a real swamp and it stank like hell.)

2007-04-17T14:03:00.000-04:00

This is where I get one of my favorite lines ever. "Hell's army has risen." I am sooooo Ash

2007-04-17T13:59:00.000-04:00

This is my jaunty eyepatch look:

Chunks

2007-03-23T18:36:00.000-04:00

(I have no idea how, but my format goes all screwy when I post pics. Sorry for the mess.)

I was compelled to read through a bunch of my blog last week. I must apologize to you all. I had no idea there were so many spelling/grammatical errors. I'm something of a tyrant about that. Mostly it's because I type and hit publish as fast as I can when I write entries, fire-and-forget. If I read too much I'll have to edit. If I have to edit, fuggedaboutit, I'll hate it, delete, and then you'll never know what's going on in the life of krt, will you?

So today I went through the whole thing with a big red (metaphorical) pencil and fixed it. I'm sure if you've read it already there is no need to check back. I did this because I have a lot of time on my hands.

I have a lot of time on my hands because I got the dreaded nasty stomach virus. I won't go into all the gory details, but it's been a pretty nasty three days laid out on the couch or bed. Not. A. Good. Time.

Here's some stills from December 31st. That's the one where I met my friend B.

Here we are 'brute-forcing' our way through a scene.

B and I bullsh^tting betwixt scenes.

Cast and director of December 31st.

My first extra experience

2007-03-20T15:57:00.000-04:00

...is blessedly over. I don't know how so many folks put up with so much crap for so long for so little money. Boggles the mind, I tell you.

(Some of you who read this do quite a bit of extra work, I know. Is this similar to your first experiences?)

Of course, I can't tell you what it was for. Suffice to say, it won't be seen in this country. I 'auditioned' for a spot several weeks ago. I didn't hear anything from the casting office, so I figured I wouldn't keep those days blocked off anymore. I got the call Friday that I was 'hand selected' for the shoot Monday night. Balls. This means a huge schedule workaround, favors called in, long work hours, and headaches.

I'm told what wardrobe to bring. Of course, I own none of this stuff, so I have to go shopping. Honestly, if people didn't buy me clothes to wear I'd be the lamest dresser around. I have no concept of clothes other than comfort and covering the naughty bits when littl'uns are around. So I shop.

I'm at work yesterday when I get the call saying that I need more stuff. Great. Oh, that was four hours before I was supposed to be there. Luckily, a friend nearby had some stuff I could use, and I'm off.

Now I'm pretty much expecting that 'hand selected' means 'in the pile' and I wasn't disappointed. There were at least 200 people there. Probably more. Wardrobe checked my other outfit and decided it was 'too wintery.' At least, I thought, the stuff I bought will go to good use.

No one told me it was an outside shoot.

Thank the stars my friend loaned me the 'too wintery' stuff cause when the cameras weren't rolling, it was on. One quick setup right after I arrive then back to holding.

Holding I must talk about. As an extra newbie, I spoke very little, taking it all in. There seemed to be a lot of friends from other shoots there. I didn't know it was a hobby for some folks. Everyone had their 'in' to Hollywood or Broadway, and were just waiting for it to come through. And, I love this part, there seemed to be a loudmouth meatball for every 30 people. I sat for two hours pretending to read a book, listening to this one cat. He was without doubt the most full of sh$t person I have ever heard in my life, and I've heard a lot of bullsh%tters in my day. This guy started off a group conversation, then latched on to anything that was said and was a complete expert on it. In quick retrospect, he pontificated about 300, the original Spartans (He was completely wrong, I know because I've read more about them than just the Wikipedia entry.), Japan's Bushido code (again, horribly wrong), how to make it as an extra, the disadvantages of volunteering, his great success as a standup, how much you should be paid, called out another comic and berated him for not performing in front of us all (not that he did any of his own material) and civil service/emergency services (once again, completely wrong). I wished someone was watching me. I could not read my book because every time his mouth opened, the dumbest thing came out of it, even dumber than the last thing. I was either wide eyed or shaking my head.

But here's what gets me most. The reason he was able to do this for several hours was because...i still can't believe it myself...people were listening to him. REALLY. Like, he held court for two hours and people sat there in thrall as if they came to the Greek forum to listen to Plato or some sh^t. Boggles. The. Mind.

Finally we're called to set. Outside. Basically cheering at a car. For four hours. In the cold. After two hours they started to say we could go back to holding to warm up, but realized a bunch of people were ready to give up on the money and leave, so they decided against it. This was a non union shoot. OUR craft service was a cooler full of water and some assorted chips. THEIR craft service was, well, craft service. Three and a half hours in most of the crew takes a break and gets coffee and tea and pleasurably sips at it right in front of us. Bastards. Those four hours I had to stand in a group of meatballs who felt that apparently the dumbest thing to say was the perfect thing to shout. Sigh.

We finished around 1:30 am. I get lost in Boston, get pulled over because apparently being lost looks like you're drunk. Sweet talk not one but two state troopers out of a ticket and head home. Thank god for rumble strips. Bed: 4am.

I'm not so sure if I like extra work. I'm not so sure I like this casting office, especially after finding out that the money we're actually getting is less than half the money announced at the audition.

Hmmm...union?

2007-03-14T13:21:00.000-04:00

Finally finished this blog. Read it.

There's always one...

2007-03-11T23:02:00.000-04:00

Isn't it awesome when you wake up early, ready for the day ahead? You know, early enough to get a bunch of stuff done. Have an extra cup of coffee. Don't pay attention to that little worry that you've forgotten something important. The clock says you're just fine. Isn't it awesome when the realization that it's SPRING F&#%ING AHEAD time kind of sinks over you like someone cracked an egg on your head? Yeah, today, I was that guy.

I saw 300 yesterday. I've been waiting for this to come out since I heard about it way back in October. Not only is it one of the most ultimate-badass stories of all time, Zack Snyder directed it. I'm growing to love his work.

I'm excited to say this flick absolutely gave me everything I wanted. Great drama, awesome action. (I was not there for the oiled-mostly-naked dudes thing.) Oscar-worthy? No. This is a highly stylized movie. Nothing is left for granted. Almost every shot is some kind of effect shot. I know some people think it's overkill, but I for one loved it. It was a great action movie sandwich that I greedily ate every bite of.

Can't wait for Hot Fuzz.

The Crucible still proves to be great fun. Just so everyone knows, I am having immense fun and I'm being fulfilled in my 'serious' drama quota. I just crack funny all the time at rehearsal cause, um, that's what I do. Funny stuff appears in front of me all the time. I just seem to be the only one who notices.

Case in point. There's a line in the show that goes something like, "she screamed a scream that a bull would weep to hear." (Now, so you know, there is absolutely NO way for you to get the full impact of my interpretation without me standing in front of you to give you the sound effets.) The second time I heard it I had to bend down and put my hands on my knees to get my breath back. That's how hard I was laughing. Seriously. When put upon for an explanation I had to describe what I just saw in the theater of the mind. Picture an attractive young girl standing in the middle of a cow pasture. (This is the actual girl in our show, so you can't REALLY picture her until I post something up here.) Honking. That's the only word I can use to describe the sound that comes to my mind. Off in the corner of the pasture are two giant bulls, horns, nose rings and all, crying quietly. One bull wipes a tear out of the corner of his eye saying, "oh man, that takes me back." For some reason during rehearsals this kind of thing springs to my mind EVERY THREE SECONDS.

Mind you, these are all blocking rehearsals. I hate them. They're necessary, but so is proctology and I don't know anyone who's marked on their calendar "proctology appointment" and put a smiley face next to it. So to ease the pain, I am the laughing gas.

I'd also like to say that this is a phenomenally well cast show. It's never easy to cast well in community theater. Lately it seems even harder around here. This show, everyone is doing super well in their roles. Originally I was mildly disappointed not to get the lead, but the more I watch the cast the more I realize I am exactly where I need to be, and maybe I was just caught up in the "gotta get the lead" race. Which is stupid.

Oh yeah, you can find information about our performances here. So if you're in the neighborhood of Western Massachusetts in April, come see a great show.

Almost finished reading Contact. I loved the movie, but man, did they get it wrong. I watched it recently to make sure and yeah, they got it wrong.

Random randomness

2007-03-07T12:21:00.000-05:00

I have to remind myself to update this thing more often. It's kind of hypocritical of me to go bullshit over someone else leaving their blog neglected when I can't be bothered to update my own.

So, for the both of you who are reading...

I recently updated my recording hardware. I got this. It's a smaller hardware version of the stuff I used to use, but insanely more robust software. ProTools. Pretty much the standard for computer based music production. (Please, no flame wars, everybody has their own opinion.) The learning curve this time around has been incredible. So much stuff.

So, yeah, I'm kind of a musician. Not like professional or anything. Haven't been in a band in years, but I love writing my own stuff and don't really care if no one ever hears it. So I'm willing to fork over a ton of cash for all these expensive toys.

Of course, I should also be working on more of the seven other projects I have going on.

The Crucible is going well. Fairly soon the off book stuff will start to come around. Mostly I'm still trying to turn it into a one-man comedy show. Many thanks to the extraordinary patience of the cast and director for not killing me. Sometimes the shit that bubbles up to the surface I just can't keep in. (In my mind, apparently, witch hunts are hilarious.)

I was tapped to run a camera for a training video for some corporate thing. I learned several things:

A) running a live camera is BORING. I'd much rather shoot a narrative.
B) corporate America pays a lot of money to send people to seminars so they can learn the obvious.
C) beer is so much better after spending a day shooting boring talkin-bout-nuthin all day long.

Overheard in a bar last night, "Dear broccoli, why do you look like a cartoon fart?" I totally heard that. I wanted to check and see if I was mistaken, maybe I just heard it wrong. I was getting out of my seat to inquire about the accuracy of my hearing when I realized I didn't WANT to know if I heard it wrong. And really, what kind of an explanation can you get that justifies a statement like that? No, I thought, better leave it alone. I'd rather sit here and contemplate, muse, and wonder about broccoli lookin like...well, you know, than hear that it was something innocuous.

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny. Hm. I liked the HBO special better. But the extras are totally worth the price.

Sorry it's been so long

2007-02-21T23:13:00.000-05:00

It's taken a while for anything of real interest to happen. I don't want to post just for the sake of posting, but I was given a verbal beating by a reader for not updating frequently enough. Hopefully this will assuage the thirsty readers.

The Crucible has been going well. By going well I mean we've finally completed basic blocking. When I think about blocking a show I wonder if I might have more fun sticking a pencil in my eye whilst pondering the latest fashions in eye-patches than have to block another damn show. I know it must be done, like the dentist, but I dread both equally. My survival technique has been to turn The Crucible into a one man comedy show.

Oh yes, it can be done. Much to the consternation of some castmates, but sorry, I can't even think about character and acting when we have to stop every line. Just give me the basic movements and let's get on with it, dig?

I've noticed a change in my style a bit. Assuming that a) I actually had a style before and b)there is evidence of a style now. A couple months ago I read How to Stop Acting by Michael Shurtleff. I took a lot of it to heart. I also take every acting method I learn about with a grain of salt. It seems like each one I learn about ends up at some point telling you that The Process is more important than The Product. I'm really not into zealotry of just about any kind, so when I read that it doesn't matter if the audience doesn't get it as long as it's true I go a little fuzzy. But I take something from each book I read. This one helped me free myself up from too much thinking, which is a habit I have. I read this book right before I really got busy with doing film, and it really helped me to be in the moment when we were shooting, especially when it was hectic. It seems that it's influenced my stage acting as well. Where I usually was rehearsing for the perfect delivery each time, now I'm goin with what my gut's telling me, reacting not to what my brain tells me is my character's arc, just doing it and letting the audience piece it together. It's wonderfully freeing.

Sorry about the rant. If it even made sense.

Got cast in another movie. This one's UConn based and I'm pretty psyched for it, but the shoot is a couple months off. This is another audition I totally nailed when I was so sick with the flu I could barely stand. I'm sensing a pattern. I also got a call from someone I've never heard of who was given my number to see if I could fill a last minute role. Unfortunately I was unavailable for it, but hey, it proves the point, be nice to everybody, cause you never know when it'll pay off. Feed your karma.

A pin in my balloon

2007-02-06T22:56:00.000-05:00

I didn't get cast in a film I was looking forward to. Sounded neat, had a ton of potential. I got the audition through people I'd worked with before. The audition went well, at least I thought it did, and it sounded as if I had the part by the time I walked out the door.

Got the email yesterday. Thanks for coming, but sorry.

First, I was just amazed to hear one way or the other. Very rarely have I gotten any kind of word from the director/production crew if I don't get cast. At least I know now, and don't have to wonder if my schedule is going to be juggled again. (This reminds me of something I need to write later. Don't let me forget, blog.)

Seems like lately I've had some fairy-tale casting. I haven't been turned down for much, if anything, in the last three months. I really thought I had this one in the bag. It's a nice attitude check. I certainly don't take it personally, and I'm not upset at all. (Mildly relieved I don't have to "make that weekend work.")

I have been lazy to the extreme. By lazy I mean I only spend two hours a day learning Dreamweaver, one hour on Final Cut, and two hours trying to get my home studio working again. (Curse Aardvark Audio for going bankrupt!) I really should be cranking out some product, REALLY need to be writing again.

Really need to kick myself in the ass.

It's way too cold for self-ass kicking though. Definitely weather for watching ALL of The Sopranos.

Super cool days like this make me smile

2007-01-27T22:10:00.000-05:00

It actually started yesterday when I got to hang out with my two sisters and my nephew, who is currently approaching the ripe age of two. The sister that owns (?) him lives in L.A. so I don't get to see them very often. The last time I saw the little man he was still a non-walking, mostly drooling baby. Now he has legs that run and run and run. I didn't expect him to do anything other than run away from the scary man who hadn't shaved in five days, but he got right down to the business of counting for me. He can recognize his name when written down, knows the alphabet, and can recognize the planets. It's amazingly hilarious (and somewhat humbling) to hear him say Jupiter, "Dert-der-der." (He knows them, but that mouth coordination could use some work.) I'm pretty sure at that age I was realizing that my fingers could fit in my nose, and wasn't that an awesome discovery?

Today I put two more gigs of RAM in my desktop. I haven't even loaded the games that bog this beast down and I'm still excited.

Had to shoot pickups for Threads today. Made it to the Emerson studio and there were two of my favorite crew people there, Lucinda and Adam, and Adam's got his computer tuned in to this very blog. (I forget that people I know actually read it. Come to think of it, I never realize people read it as I write this. Uh...hi folks!) We hung out for a little while as everybody else filtered in. Great to see everybody again. They recharge my batteries. Make me realize how much fun/angst/love/pain/laughter/frustration/creation this whole thing is.

Adam, who's cutting the movie, said quite a few nice things about the job I did in the film. (Thanks Adam!) I got to see some of the original footage. I can honestly say I freaked myself out. There are some pretty heavy scenes in this flick. I put a lot into them. A LOT. It's nice, albeit mildly frightening, to see that what I was going for actually happened.

The day went pretty quickly, everything was fairly simple and laid out well. Ah, the magic of film. Some closeups for a bedroom scene were accomplished with a wooden box, a sheet, a pillow, and some black cloth draped over some chairs. I didn't even need to take my pants off. (...that sounds so wrong) A few other quick shots and we were chillin'. Left with more notices of auditions and, hopefully, offers of parts. As I walked back through the Common to get to my car I couldn't get the smile off my face.

Finished up by meeting a friend at the movies to see Smokin' Aces, which was surprisingly good, despite the drubbing the critics gave it. Sure, it's not The Godfather, but it was escapist fun done well.

Now if only I didn't have to go to work tomorrow...

Two super cool web things...

2007-01-25T12:21:00.001-05:00

..I've found recently.

Flight of the Conchords. You can see their performances here. I recommend you start with "Jenny." A friend of mine sat me down to watch it because it reminded her of My Best Friend Mike and my penchant for sitting on my porch and making up songs as we go along. (Incidentally, his one known talent is the ability to insert the word "Motherfucker" into any song. Yeah, sure, anybody can but not like this dude.) I was howling. HOWLING.

I also realize that everyone in the world might already know about these guys and I'm just the last to get on the train.

The other thing is What is Joppa? There's a great article on them here. I love the homegrown attitude they have. I love that it works. I love that people are starting to watch them. There's a debate a friend and I have about the increasing affordability of making movies/recording music. He argues that it will ultimately dilute the talent pool, making it harder for dedicated and talented artists to stand out. I argue that if anything it will make the dedicated and talented stand out more. The recent glut of badly made online movies and lo-no budget films illustrates the juxtaposition quite clearly. Well thought out entertainment like Joppa, in contrast, allows you to appreciate well done projects even more.

Oh yeah, I saw The Hitcher remake. Surprisingly, it wasn't all that bad. It just wasn't all that good. In fact, it's basically the same movie as the original, with a couple playing C. Thomas Howell's part. Basically it's all bones and no meat. It has pretty much the exact structure of the original, without any of the tension, or any real sense of empathy for the hitcher. And I'd love to have been on set to see the dynamics, because I've never seen two people playing a romantic couple look less interested in each other.

Top Chef is making me ill. Did anyone else hear that Marcel was attacked by a crazed fan?

24 rocks.

Sore!

2007-01-24T15:46:00.000-05:00

Ow.

First day snowboarding yesterday. Gotta make use of this stupid pass, now that we finally have some snow. I didn't get a chance to go last year at all, so I was pretty nervous yesterday. Fortunately I made it through the day all limbs intact. So much fun. Today will be an inside day, however. Having not used those muscles in some time, everything hurts.

Went from there to the first read-through of The Crucible. Methinks we have a very fine cast, indeed. I look forward to seeing what we can accomplish together. I have to find a new voice for Hale, though. What keeps coming out of me naturally is way too low for my throat. Reverend Hale as portrayed by Clint Eastwood. Interesting maybe, but no thanks.

Working with several filmmaker friends has got me started in the research/learning game. Time I'm not spending at either of my jobs or acting is now being spent on learning:

a) Final Cut
b) Dreamweaver
c) studying for an A+ cert

Because I have too much time on my hands.
(cue Dennis DeYoung)

2007-01-10T16:31:00.000-05:00

Ok, for all you who wanted me to fix the computer, I'm actually almost done getting it all back in. The one smart thing I did was to print out the first completed draft. All I really had to do was remember some restructuring and I was there.

On the "throw out your first three scripts" thing I say nay! I've got a bunch of other ideas to start hammering into some shape of script, sure, but I wrote this one first because I LOVE THIS STORY. Whether I get it right out of the gate or have to redo the whole damn thing later, I will tell this story.

Saw the Equity tour of Chicago last night. Wow. It isn't my absolute favorite show but I'll watch it given the opportunity, especially if it's going to be done well. Man, was it done well. I'll have to check my program for some but I know Christopher McDonald played Billy Flynn and Ron Orbach played Amos. The rest had equally amazing pedigrees. Super well done. I really enjoyed Roxie. She had this bubbly, giggly thing going on that was way different than the soulless, evil that so many others try to portray her with. Really happy I saw it.

There's another one of those teaser trailers here. Under "selected works" there's a second teaser for Cillian. With my snazzy English accent.

Ok, I'm really not happy with this. The Hitcher is being remade. (That's the link to the REAL movie.) Why would you do that? The Hitcher is one of the best road/suspense movies ever made. You have no chance of doing better. None. It doesn't matter that I like Sean Bean, and would like to see him play more "good guys" every now and then (he always gets portrayed as the slug), it just won't work.

Why must Hollywood do this? Look what's been done to every remake, with the notable exception of the remake of Dawn of the Dead. That was awesome. Every single one has flopped. Every single one has been skewered by critics and fans alike. Sure, they got some teenagers money for a couple weekends, but they didn't really DO anything.

Grrr. I gotta go. I'm gonna re-write Red Dawn before anyone else gets to it.

Happy New Year, My Script is Gone

2007-01-03T17:57:00.000-05:00

My laptop crashed.

I have three computers, but only the laptop had the whole of my first feature length screenplay. I've been in the heavy editing mode, trying to figure out if the thing is worth a damn. Last week, I got the Blue Screen of Death.

Another Windows re-install. I should become a Mac person. Of course, a repair wouldn't work. Safe mode wouldn't work. For complete hilarity, the flash drive I just bought (specifically for keeping my writing safe) hadn't actually had the script loaded onto it yet.

The good news. I had sixty pages of the first iteration on my office computer, so THAT most certainly went into the new flash drive. Also, after I finished the first draft (actually the second draft, but that's a long story) I printed it, so I could red-pen edit the thing. I have all those notes.

The bad news. Typing all the little changes from page one to page sixty is a royal pain in the ass. Also, I was on my third pass and stopped writing changes, just typing them into the computer, so all those are gone. I did some huge scene re-ordering, but I seem to be remembering that fairly well.

Sometimes I think it'll never get done. Actually, I know it'll never be DONE, but complete enough to show to people.

I hang my head in sorrow.

Oh yeah, Happy New Year, everyone.

Holidays and How I Love They're Over

2006-12-27T21:29:00.000-05:00

I don't necessarily MIND the holidays. In fact, I think they're a generally good idea. If you remove the rampant commercialism and the holier than thou religious centrism (along with all the ridiculous "Holiday" vs "Christmas" debate) it's a good idea. Once a year, why don't we put all our normal bull#$%^ aside and just be nice to each other for a change? I actually like doing nice things for people, especially the people I care about. I don't always have the sense to get my head out of my own ass all the time, but a nice wreath reminds me to buy that book I know my dad's got his eye on.

It's the shopping I can't stand. The parking, the bumping into people, the clawing for the last item on the shelf, these things make me murderous relatively quickly. I try to do as much as I can online, but this year even THAT managed to piss me off. A major bookseller who isn't Amazon.com has earned my eternal wrath at their stupidity. While I don't hate the U.S. Postal Service, I hate the other people who use them. Generally I like to buy myself a little something as I go along, reward myself for engaging the hordes. Now that it's all over, I can relax.

There is one story that I just had to write down, though. This one's for the books. My family is relatively scattered this year. My parents are at my older sister's place in CA this year. My younger sister was hosting her fiancee's family for Christmas. I opted to spend the morning with my wonderful grandparents who continue to amaze me. I know I won't have half that energy at half their age. For the afternoon I would go to my sister's, I haven't met this group of people that are going to be family soon, and what better time than Christmas?

This is where it gets good.

I get to the house, walk in the side door heading towards the kitchen. Directly in front of me is a crate.

In the crate is a duck.

Yep, a duck. A big white duck that looks ready to sell me insurance. Staring at me. I stopped, cause I was stuck. I was stuck because exactly one thousand and three increasingly hilarious things to say popped into my mind all at once and I realized I could say exactly none of them because there was a house full of people who might be very attached to this duck.

So we looked at each other. It was then I noticed a woman kneeling next to the duck and staring at me as if the sight of a new person in the house was stranger than, say, a duck hanging out in a kitchen. Turns out it's her duck. See, she's something of a bird lady. Bunch of parrots, cockatoos and the like. And, of course, the duck.

She was an absolutely delightful woman and completely understood my duck consternation. The rest of the family was very nice and I had a great time meeting them all.

But every time I turn around, there's the duck, staring at me as if to say, "Well, used to me now?"

From what I learned ducks make very good pets. They have great personalities and don't chew the furniture. this duck also had a jacket. It was actually a dog's jacket witht the sleeves sewn in. To me it looked like a smoking jacket. All it needed was a long stem pipe, a wing-backed chair, and a British accent.

I know this had nothing to do with acting, but I have to remember this shit.

A Much Needed Kick in the Bottom

2006-12-18T17:31:00.000-05:00

Oh, so lazy.

The past couple weeks have felt very stale. I know, I did have the longest work/class week ever, auditioned and won a part in an exceedingly good play, filmed one short movie and auditioned well for another, and then was sick for another week, but I don't really felt like I DID anything. No other auditions in the works. Gotta stay in the game.

Today I forced myself to work on my script. I keep making minor fixes, knowing there's holes but not really seeing any of them. Maybe I should let someone *gasp* read it. Then I can force myself to start on the next one.

I've spent a lot of time reading first timers scripts. You can have a lot of fun reading them here. Some are incredibly good. Some need a little good feedback and they'll be incredibly good. A lot are examples of what not to do. Those are the ones I learn best from. Like a lot of the bad no-budget movies I've ordered off the internet. I love them for their balls, hate their execution, and know deep in my soul that I could make something a million times better with less money. That's what Vince and I are setting out to do.

Whoa, digress. Basically I don't want to be that guy who thinks just because he put something out there he should be rewarded. I'm aiming for something more than passable, which is why I'm so hard on myself. It's also a reason why I DON'T do it more. It seems like such a high point to aim for, sometimes I wonder if I have any business at all trying. (Stupid, I'm aware.)

I still don't know much more about my friend's production, other than that he was cast in a VERY good role. The group has been around for at least the last four or five years, and are non-profit. I've seen several of their productions. Uh, that's all I'll say here. My friend is an excellent performer, and neither desperate for parts nor a moron. Listening to the plans for the production, I can see why he's excited. I thought it odd myself that all these stipulations were being added. I wouldn't agree to it myself, so I think I must have heard it wrong, or heard a wrong interpretation. I'll let you know, blogwatchers.

Oh yeah, Jonathan, thanks for coming. I AM reading your blog, but it's taking a while. Reading through five years of postings is taking longer than a week. Welcome to my blogroll.

This was supposed to be a short post.

The Verdict is In

2006-12-17T21:20:00.000-05:00

I got the call yesterday morning about The Crucible. I've been cast as Reverend Hale, the inquisitor sent to Salem to investigate the charges of witchcraft. While I was gunning for John Proctor, the part I've been offered is mighty tasty unto itself. The gentleman cast as the lead looked as if he'll do a fine job in that role. I look forward to working with him.

Still haven't heard anything about last week's film audition. Generally, when a week goes by with no word I consider that my answer, but man, they seemed so positive. I know, I know, that was probably a sure sign I wouldn't get it.

My head cold finally settled into my chest, now I have the most fantastic stuff coming out of me. Lung butter. This is annoying. I could have been out painting the town red. Or out doing something that doesn't suck as much as staying in because you're sick.

I had an interesting conversation with a friend recently, who auditioned for a local musical with a group I have not worked with. He had to sign a contract saying he would be responsible for $300 in ads, or pay it himself, 15 tickets sold by him, and a monetary fine for every rehearsal he was late to. Now, as far as I know, there is no pay involved with this show. I may have been in some shows where they pushed us to sell tickets/ads, but this seems a little overboard. Anyone else ever hear of this?

Someday I'll Breathe Again

2006-12-15T11:38:00.000-05:00

I'm never sick this long. Never. I picture my immune system as a 6'4" ripped dude carrying a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it. Named Diesel. I've never bothered to ask if Diesel is his name or the bat's name. Wouldn't be polite. Or safe. (BTW, Diesel came along way before Vin Diesel, so he's got dibs.)

Yesterday I dragged my best friend out to Boston for the premiere of Razor Man, a movie by Keto Shimizu. She directed Threads after this movie. Last night they held a screening at the AMC Loews on the Boston Common. I was really excited to see it. The trailer on the site was what initally convinced me to audition for Threads in the the first place. I also wanted to see what they were able to do with all that 16mm techno-gadgetry they have. I'm more than glad to say it was a success on nearly every level. I never asked about the story or any particulars so I could see it with a fresh eye. The shots were beautiful, the framing was amazing, the story really worked for a short. Not too complex, but not too simple either. It leaves you room to make a lot of your own answers. The actors did a great job. It makes me super excited to see the next batch of flicks, cause I'm in 'em.

Speaking of which, there is a teaser trailer online! The movie I did last week, Cillian, was shot on Canon XL2's with 35mm adapters. You can find it here, under "Selected Works." That's me in the suit.

Other than that, nothing of note has happened. Haven't heard about the film audition I did last week. Won't hear about The Crucible til at least tomorrow.

Ladies and gentlemen, just before the finish line...

2006-12-12T22:44:00.000-05:00

...he collapses. I woke up this morning sick. Throat lined with sandpaper, head filled with cement. I knew I should have been taking more vitamins this week. I realize I'm so exhausted that my body has decided it's siesta time, but all I needed was one more *&^%ing day.

Grr.

I pumped myself full of cold medicine and made it to callbacks. I felt like I was underwater. Had to force my audition, hate it, but waddayagunnado? According to some folks they never even noticed, so I'm either a very talented actor or I always look like I'm juiced on NyQuil. I suspect the real answer is somewhere between the two.

Canceled my dentist appointment and actually called out of work for tomorrow. I never, ever call out sick.

Meh.

Nine out of eleven done

2006-12-11T20:53:00.000-05:00

Two more days and I get some laziness in. After I clean my house, which is completely destroyed at this point. I've tracked dirt from both my basement and that warehouse all over the first floor. Piles of unfolded laundry have taken over my living room. Dishes rule my sink, and mail and assorted crap from my car have set up camp on my kitchen table. I do get a bunch of time tomorrow, it's almost like a day off, just a dentist appointment (hate the dentist) and Crucible callbacks tomorrow night. Maybe I should prepare for it but frankly I like winging it as much as I can in auditions.

The last of the weekend shoot went faster than any shoot I've done so far. There were only two shots to get, skeleton crew, so things went incredibly smooth. So smooth, in fact, that I had about six hours off before my next audition. See, Boston's an hour and a half away, so six hours off means I don't go home. Had I known I was going to have that much time off, I might have prepared an exciting day discovering things in Boston I have yet to see, or haven't seen in a while. However, I had no pre-plan for such events, and really didn't have the energy to traipse around town. So I went to breakfast with a few guys from the crew, then went to see Apocalypto. It was...interesting. It certainly wasn't bad. I enjoyed it, but I don't think I'll be hunting out the DVD.

Hit my audition and it went really well. Apparently my Boston accent is convincing. It looked to me like I was hitting points that jived with the director's vision, which is what we all hope for. Who knows, you can never really tell what they're thinking, right? At least I know I smoked that audition.

Cross your fingers for The Crucible.

I missed seeing The Pick of Destiny in the theaters. I nearly wept. I already have the soundtrack and wanted to see it SO BAD. Curse the gods of movie theaters that are still showing Turistas and turning their backs on the greatest rock gods of all time.

Oh, and personally I have nothin against the use of 'y'all.' I've spent some time in the South, and personally love it. It's beautiful, the food kicks ass, and the farther down you go the friendlier people get, until you hit Florida and the displaced New Englanders. I actually use it in conversation once in a while, just to spice things up. But it really didn't seem to fit here. I'm more of a 'dude' guy.

Later, dudes.

Oy

2006-12-10T00:20:00.000-05:00

Tired. So tired.

Seven days into hell week and I'm fairly cooked. I survived the 105 hour fiasco to come home to no heat. Said loss of heat made me late for Crucible auditions. At least those went fairly well. I feel like I gave a fairly strong audition and met some really nice folks. I was pleasantly surprised at the caliber of my fellow actors, especially the teenagers. Fingers crossed for callbacks.

Now, it might be a good idea, if you get home at 10:30 and have class at 8:00 in the morning, to NOT have more beer than you think would be wise. I, however, usually fly in the face of all good ideas pertaining to me doing anything smart/sensible. Friday morning was r-o-u-g-h. But I found out I didn't need to be on set Friday night, so I had a glorious evening of watching the last eight episodes of 24:Season 2.

Finished my damn class this morning and made it out to set. In a warehouse. And the wares of this house apparently is dirt. Dirt that gets everywhere. On your cuffs, under your collar. Dirt that gives you those nasty black boog...

Ahem.

Apparently my fuses are so blown from this week I've become dumber than I thought. I could not figure out what we were doing. I looked at the script. I looked at the other actors. I looked at the script. I looked at the director. I thought to myself, "You know these lines, bro. Why are you being so stupid?"

I answered, "Dude, I'm trying. Help me out here."

So I said, "Okay. What can I do?"

"Thanks, man. I love you."

"I love you, too."

It would have been less embarassing if I did that all in my head instead of out loud. Fortunately such behavior is apparently commonplace with this crew.

So I pulled it together and we managed to get a nice shoot done, in a surprisingly short amount of time. I was even able to grab a bite to eat with the rest of the cast. Now I just have to get up at 5am to get back out there.

Night y'all.

(I will never say y'all again in this blog.)

Karma

2006-12-05T21:15:00.000-05:00

You see? I made this guy's day. Well worth the twenty bucks.

Sixty hours in...

2006-12-05T20:42:00.000-05:00

...about forty-five left to go.

It actually hasn't been too bad. Sunday was uneventful, last night I got to sleep the night through. Tonight looks like it might be the same, but I don't want to say it too much, because then I'll get no sleep at all. Class is hell, way overbooked and uncomfortable. It's already a necessary evil, having to be dealt with every two years, but this is insane. Only four days to go, I guess.

Trying to gear up for two auditions. Need to find funny a comic/dramatic monologue in the vein of Mean Streets. Not my favorite Scorsese. Any hints? Anyone?

In blog news, I came across a link to a website that I thought was really cool. It's a great idea. Power to the people.

http://www.adoptthismovie.com/index.php

I wanted to do more than just post it. What's twenty bucks to me? More important, what's twenty bucks to them? It's no big shakes for me, but if everyone does it, it could be a life changing moment for someone else.

Oh, and if you're in the fast lane, and you're only doing the speed limit, and another car comes up behind you, why wouldn't you move over? I've driven in a lot of areas in this country, and seen a lot of bad driving, but it seems my New Englanders take perverse pleasure in NOT making way for the guy in a hurry.

Longest week ever

2006-12-03T15:44:00.000-05:00

Well, I've managed to not have to post every waking thought for the last couple days. It helps that they had nothing to do with acting.

It looks like next weekend is a go for both filming and audition. I'll be heading out to Boston for Friday and Saturday night followed by what looks to be a very long Sunday. Sometime next Wednesday I'll be able to sleep in my bed for more than four hours. Times like this, I don't even look for the light at the end of the tunnel. I just put my head down and get from one thing to the next.

The exercise regimen is in place. I want to svelte down a little before getting to head shots. I don't consider myself a fatty, but I could stand to lose some belly before I go for them.

Heard from B. They finished shooting everything yesterday for December 31st. Apparently it went much smoother this time around. I'm glad. Hopefully it'll come together fine. Time will tell.

I thought I had something interesting to write about, but whatever it was, it isn't in my head anymore.

You see? I AM addicted...

2006-11-30T19:00:00.000-05:00

...but I had to put this down because it's ended up being a pretty cool day. I got an e-mail from the director of a short film I did for Emerson recently. Basically I was asked to do a part for another short. Reading the script, it's a great part, really intense, a great chance to showcase my range.

But they're filming it next weekend.

Here's basically my schedule this coming week. I go in to work Sunday morning. Between that and this class I have to take I will see my home for possibly two hours between then and Thursday night. That's about 105 hours straight. Plus classes from 8-5 Friday and Saturday as well. Which means I'd get out of class Friday (hopefully early) for the two hour drive to Boston (one and a half if traffic's good) Plus Sunday. Then go back to work on Monday and Wednesday, and then hopefully sleep sometime before 2007. I sent him what I was working with and he said he should be able to figure it out. Sweet.

Then I remembered.

I'm scheduled for an audition Sunday afternoon. Balls. Balls balls balls balls shit balls. It's in Boston, so it should be close. It shouldn't take long. But doesn't that seem a bit, ah, tight?

But I bet I could do it.

I don't want to cancel the audition. I haven't read the script but:

1) I love the story idea.
2) They seem like they have their sh#t together.
3) Although I have no idea, it seems like some money might come along the way.
4) I've been emailing back and forth with them for a month now, and they seem excited to meet me.

I don't want to refuse the short because:

1) I've worked with these people and I know they're quality.
2) It's a great part.
3) I like them.
4) They seem to like me.
5) A lot of these people will be in L.A. soon enough. (Helloooo, networking!)

So I email back telling him basically how f$cked things are but I'm willing to do it if he is, maybe we can work something out with the audition. I just heard back, he's gonna try to make it work, I'll get a call tomorrow night hopefully.

Then I realized I was planning to audition for The Crucible Sunday night, but let's call that doubtful now. Looks like I'll have to do it Thursday night. The night I was planning a coma.

I know, I know, plenty of people would LOVE to have this kind of quandary, right? I'm not actually complaining, I just don't want to see myself in the mirror on Dec 14th, the first day off I'll have.

Now I'm addicted to you, Blogger.

2006-11-30T11:15:00.000-05:00

I swore I wouldn't let it happen. The only blog I've stayed faithful to is my sister's because I like to keep up with her life and she's an amazing writer. (Her blog is massively popular in the "mother" blog community.) But I told myself, "Nay, I will not spend hours reading blogs, mouth slack, unshowered, unshaved, convincing myself that this is entry is the last one I will read."

Sigh.

I finished reading Chris blog last night. The good thing about dudes' blogs, they seem to be much shorter. Only took a couple hours. Great blog. Read it.

As if the addiction to reading isn't enough, I now want to blog every other thought that comes into my head. (At least, I did yesterday.) This is probably a byproduct of not having much to do and reading so many blogs I feel I need to catch up on posts. Meh.

I have noticed a common theme in some blogs lately, and I am excited that I now have people to discuss my television obsession with.

Top Chef

Can't get enough of it. Was anyone else ill when they found out there was no new episode last night? I looked it up. They're only airing two more episodes this year. I want to punch Bravo, how dare they do this to me?

I think I don't enjoy this season as much as the first. No, I definitely liked the first season better. For one, most of the contestants were actually likable and were both fairly honorable in how they approached the contest and weren't so eager to stab each other in the back. I cheered when Harold won, I might have cheered more watching Tiffany lose, then cry like the little brat she is. The whole line she gave Harold about "my back just ran into your knife" made me yell at the TV, which I don't do. It's not the TV's fault. Harold had integrity, man. I was also shamelessly heartwarmed during the reunion episode when Stephen showed personal growth and apologized to everyone he'd been an ass to.

This season? Not so much. So many of these chefs seem to want to stay in the middle of the field and not be noticed, while pointing out everyone else's failures. Marcel? Yeah, he's obviously compensating but at least he's going out on the fringe and not making something he's been doing for years. Betty? H-A-T-E her with her death's head rictus of a smile. She's won too much based on her bubbly first impression, but the last couple times watching her I want to throw holy water on her or something, see if it steams. Everybody seems more concerned about complaining about the challenge, other people, etc, and don't get into the task at hand.

I feel so dirty talking about reality television. I should go shower. And shave.

Oh yeah, I heard from Vince this morning, looks like we're on our own with our little project. I kind of prefer it that way.

2006-11-29T14:03:00.000-05:00

You can find B (Bernice) here and here.

So much to type...so few fingers

2006-11-29T11:19:00.000-05:00

So.

Filmed December 31st this weekend. So exhausted from it, physically, mentally, and psychologically that I had to wait to write about it to make sure I didn't do something that would burn bridges.

I want to finish strong with the description of this weekend, so I'll start with the general negatives.

(I just deleted ten minutes of rant 'cause it was way too negative.)

At the last minute, the other male lead canceled. I found out the last day he has a history of doing this. (Which begs the question, why cast him?) The replacement brought in, while trying very hard, had a lot of difficulty with getting his lines down. We ended up with a lot of close ups, there will be much careful editing.

I felt that with the time lost, we should have been even more ultra-efficient in the shoot. (Day one we were supposed to get seven scenes done. We got most of ONE.) Too much time spent wondering what to do next. I really almost lost my temper several times, but realized the only person it would serve was me, and I don't want to create the awkward set. I did get snippy at times, but I was told that it actually worked, 'cause people got their shit in gear after.

The positives. I think if I got one more compliment on the set I would almost start to believe the hype. With the exception of two kids who obviously wanted nothing to do with being on set, every single person gave me several compliments on what I was doing. I think even a chair I was sitting in told me I was doing a good job. I thanked the chair politely, then wondered if I was going to wake up. That's how surreal this shoot went.

The two of us who were the originals were given free reign to massage the script as we saw necessary, which was good. We were free to improv as much as we liked, and it was good. My character really didn't get too many *oomph* moments that actors looked for, so it's really nice when you can fill in your own spots and work in the moment like that.

The set photographer was a wonderful man who understood lighting and continuity more so than I think anyone else on set and he spent plenty of time fixing some errors that would have been too glaring. He also took tons of amazing pictures, that I hope to have soon.

Absolutely the best thing on this shoot was meeting my co-actor B. She is The Shit. (There is a long list of people on my list of The Shit, and you should all be proud of it. It's a very good list to be on, in my opinion. And since the list is all about my opinion, I deem it good.) She is a wonderful, intelligent, creative, funny, gorgeous, and awesome actor, person, and friend. If she had not been there I most likely would have lost my mind. She was very easy to work with and a lot of fun to shoot with. We became "brothers-in-arms" in taking care of each other. We kept each other laughing, which was totally necessary for those three days.

So on my way home Sunday I call my best friend (I actually have four best friends but can in no way fairly determine one's Best-Friendness over another, so I refer to them all as my best friend. If future posts get confusing, sorry.) and tell him that We Need Beers. So we meet at our local watering hole and proceed to drink from 7:30 until 1:00. It was a wonderful de-stresser but made for a pretty crappy day of work the next day.

Had a long chat with my friend Vince last night. He has some great plans and I'm really incredibly psyched to have been asked to be a part of it. I don't want to talk about it too much, because it excites me so much I'm afraid talking too much will make it dry up and go away.

Considering some classes, just for the fun of it. Anyone know of any good ones?

My work life next week will completely suck. No doubt. I don't even want to think about it. I basically won't see my house for five days. I like my house. At least once it's all over I won't have to worry about it for a long time.

And we have a new entry on the blog list. Magickat. Her blog is also The Shit. I have laughed my head off reading her blog. If ever I meet her I will buy her martinis. Or whatever she drinks.

The hunt for readers...

2006-11-23T20:29:00.000-05:00

...cause after all, why blog if no one reads? (If a tree falls in the forest...you get the idea.)

I must link. I've found so many freaking blogs out there that I'm trying to attack them one at a time, and I'm drowning. You see, when I find a blog I want to read, I immediately start at the beginning. I must read it from beginning to end, and some of you blog prodigiously. I have spent a week or more on some, no matter how much I try to cram them in. Also, every time I see a link to someone else's blog, I have to look at that one too, and flag it for reading.

So I will now put up the blogs as I complete reading them. Let the circle of blogs continue.

Had a great Thanksgiving. Most of my family lives about an hour and a half away, so I see them rarely. My grandparents loved hearing my recent movie tales, and my father has promised to be one of the guys for me if ever I need my own Entourage. For those of you out there who don't know my father, a statement like that would make milk shoot out your nose. If you were drinking milk.

Tomorrow I have to be up at the @ss crack to drive north of Boston for December 31st. Good to shoot again. Not so good to get up early.

Blogs completed:
Donald Foley - An Actor's Journey
My Shining Palace: An Acting Journal

Oh yeah...

2006-11-22T16:47:00.000-05:00

Auditions for The Crucible are coming soon. Psyched. I read the script for the first time recently and...yeah. If you've read it, you know. Amazing. It's community theater, but I really like the director, she's always put out quality stuff, and she sounded pretty excited when I told her I was auditioning. It'll be nice to get back to the theater. (I say 'get back' when the last theater I did was in September. FEELS like it's been forever.)

I've never seen the movie, and I hesitate to. Readers? Opinions? I think it'll bring down the play I'm seeing in my head, and I don't want that. (Oh yeah, I need more readers...)

NOTE: I am NOT a purist about not seeing movies, taped performances, etc., for a show I'm about to do. Seriously, if you think that will make you unable to be creative, stifle you somehow, you're already worse off than you think. I just heard the movie of this script isn't worth the effort.

Also, the same day I'll be auditioning for this, I have to be out in Boston for another movie audition. It sounds promising, but I don't want to curse it by talking too much about it.

The Apostle

2006-11-22T11:13:00.000-05:00

Just watched The Apostle and I was...I don't know. Thunderstruck. Every time I watch Robert Duvall I realize he's an amazing performer. Watching the featurette after I was awed by his ability to transform himself. It wasn't makeup, it certainly wasn't hair.

What I kept realizing every time I had to pause the movie was that I was forgetting it was Robert Duvall. He plays the apostle with such humanity and reality that it's easy to forget it's a performance you're watching. I'm certainly no Bible-Belter, nor really religious, but this movie is a must see. (Thanks, Netflix)

Man.

The day after tomorrow I'll be on set for December 31st. Long week.

Some news and pics...

2006-11-18T15:44:00.000-05:00

I had the first read through of the new picture with BWay7 Productions on Thursday night. The film, December 31st, is a catch-the-killer suspense movie with a love triangle. The cast I've met are eager and excited to get going on it. We shoot next weekend. Also, it's going to be showing at the Boston International Film Festival. That's great news. Exposure like that you can't buy.

I heard from Keto, the director of Threads the other day. It was a really nice email she sent. This is some of what she had to say (hope this is ok, Keto)

the footage is in! the footage is in!and wow. you guys totally blow the screen away. even without the sound, just the film, my professor was like "your actors are incredible." and i agree. you guys say so much without even opening your mouths. not many actors can do that. so thank you, darling. seriously, with all that you put up with, you still gave us everything you could and it shows.

That was incredible to hear. I never really knew how it was going to come out. Not because of the crew, I never had any doubt it would be beautiful, I was worried about my performance. Not only was this script heavy with a capital H, this was my first experience shooting with such a large crew, and everything I'd heard about Emerson was about their professionalism. I didn't want to disappoint. I knew they enjoyed my presence on the set, I'm easy to get along
with. I just hoped that I was giving them what they needed.

Here's the contraption they built on the car for the night shoot. There were three other people crammed in there. (Two in the way back. How many of you out there remember sitting in the way back?)

You can almost see me...

For some reason, the other ones I want to post won't go up.

2006-11-14T16:14:00.000-05:00

There's a bunch of things I've been pondering lately. Number one is head shots. There's no way around them really. My friend Sharon was starting to give me advice about how many looks I needed and my head started to spin. As much as I know I need them, it is pretty hilarious when I walk in to an audition and I have no head shot, no resume, hell, I didn't even bring a PEN and then I end up getting the call. Of course, sending out headshots to casting agencies is a big step in getting bigger auditions. I know I have to do it, I just hate getting pictures taken.

My friend Vince has been very busy with his company. He took me on to do some commercials locally and we've since become friends. He wants me to take more of an active role in doing some films with him, be it writing, casting, or possibly directing in some status. I think it's great that he's come as far as he has to this point, it's really motivating to see someone else's success, especially with such a great group of guys. It's also great to be asked to have that kind of involvement. I'm really excited to see what comes out of it.

I finished my first screenplay! I actually finished it about six weeks ago but it's far from DONE done. There's a ton of editing to do, and I cringe every time I read it. Oh well, it's a start right?

Threads Journal

2006-11-14T01:14:00.000-05:00

Here it is, finally typed out. Forgive it for being long winded. I didn't know what to leave out.

10/5 Thursday

I’ve been sick basically since I got back from Boston last week. Not super sick, cold sick. It’s annoying and I know it’s really going to be a pain once we get into the shoot. I’ve been eating well and taking my vitamins and zincing myself silly, except for work I’ve barely left my house, why am I still sick?

Packed like a madman this afternoon. For this trip, I decided to use some good, sound reasoning. I am very rarely, if ever, a person who leaves in time to arrive at where I’m supposed to be when I’m supposed to be there. By normal logic, if I have a three hour drive (I do) I should have prepared my journey to begin so I leave with at least three hours allotted for driving plus pit stops. The person I am, however, will begin madly throwing crap into suitcases fifteen minutes before this time begins. Obviously, I will have forgotten stuff, and will need to return to the house at least five times. I will also forget that I need to fill my tank, and I need shampoo, making my departure time even later. Here it is in equation form:

If T(theoretical) = Departure time necessary to arrive at location on time
And p=actual time to begin packing for trip (p=T(theoretical)-15 minutes)
And p(t)= time needed to pack (p(t) = 25 minutes)
And f = forgotten item(s) necessitating mad dash back into house (f=5 minutes)
And g = gas fill time (twenty minutes including coffee, taurine drink, water, gum)
And T(actual) = actual departure time

Must arrive in Vermont by 8:30, therefore, must live at least by 5:30, so normally:

T(theoretical)= 5:30, solve for T(actual)
P+ p(t)+(fx5)+g=T(actual)

So..

5:15+:25+(:25)+:20=6:25

What I did was tell myself I had to leave by four, and was on the road by five.

Wow, is the place out there. It was dark when I got in, there was a skeleton crew there already. The first shots tonight were my characters wife noodling in her office, so I had precisely nothing to do. Now, this house is like a giant Waldo picture. Stare at any one spot and you’ll find incredibly interesting things to explore. And this house is inhabited by this wonderful woman named Suzanne, who quickly became the Magical Elf of the house. Nothing she couldn’t find, and something was always on the stove.

When the truck full of equipment arrived I found myself n the peculiar position of being told to do nothing while everyone unloads the truck. Well, I’m not that kind of guy, so I marched myself
up to the truck and began pulling stuff off, much to everyone’s apparent consternation.

Apparently they deal with a lot of difficult actors under the best of circumstances, and they were waiting for me to have my freak out. Well, I fooled them!

Much later in the evening we filmed all of the bedroom scenes. Michele, who plays my wife, was great sport for crawling into bed with me. We had a lot of fun…not that kind of fun. This was me waking up terrified and her sleeping away. I know now why actors say it’s tough to do love scenes on set. With ten different people shoved up in the room the mood is anything but sexy.

The final shot of the night was carrying my dead wife and putting her back in bed, then we were off to clean up the insanely sticky blood product we were using and finally to bed. We finally hit lights out sometime around 5:30 am.

10/6 Friday

I thought we were starting the shoot at 4:30, so waking up at 11:00 was kind of excessively early, but hey, I’m that kind of guy. Not a whole hell of a lot for me to do. We were still waiting for the rest of the crew and equipment to show up. Ashton, the production designer, spent most of the day finishing his tree. In the great room he built this insane tree out of Styrofoam and joint compound. Today he walked the woods and came back with the branches he needed to finish decorating. I had a good run, then needed to venture out to find shaving cream and a razor, which is one of the things I forgot to pack, of course. This was a bad idea. Who knew there’d be traffic IN VERMONT? Yes, folks, apparently when there’s road work to be done they shut the road down to one lane and EVERYONE IN THE AREA comes by to look.

While I was gone some of the guys were setting up for tonight’s shoot, a car scene. This particular scene has gone through about three revisions, and this was something the crew was excited for, basically to see if they could pull off what they were looking for. They spent about three hours MacGyvering this contraption to set lights up on the top of the car I’d be driving.

The basic premise being that I would be driving this car with the crew in a pickup truck right in front of me. But that’s not the tricky part. The tricky part is that we’d be connected by a power cord to the generator sitting in the back of the pickup truck. And I could only be about four feet from them. And I had to have my headlights off.

After an hour or so of all the vehicles involved (three) driving around looking for an open gas station (Montpelier, ten miles away) we went off to our location, a quiet street on some campus of a college I’ve never heard of. Final setup took about an hour, and then we…well…tried to get the shot. I’m driving an automatic with a sticky gas pedal, Pat (the other driver) is in a standard pickup truck and the whole shot has to be going uphill, so maintaining proper distance was pretty tough, if not impossible. Keto’s in the back seat, cause she’s playing Daniel, one of the demi-god figures in this flick. Oh, and Tyler and Nicholson are squished into the back in the cargo area, running the lights attached to the top of the car. Very intimate for them. This was a long shoot with a lot of setup between takes, so everyone in my car was treatd to some of my personal favorite off color jokes to keep the mood light.

Oh, by the way, it is FREEZING out this night.

Four hours go by and the crew decides that the best way to shoot this would really be stationary, so back to the house we go. On that location there were only about twelve of us, everyone was back at the house. Here’s what amazed me. The whole time I’ve been sitting in a nice warm car most of the crew has been in the back of a moving pickup. Who gets the first coffee? Yeah, you guessed it. Hey, I like getting the royal treatment but man, those guys looked cold. For the rest of the night we basically shoot until dawn with a couple pick up shots.

10/7 Saturday

I wake up knowing already today’s going to be loooooong. We have the whole opening dream sequence to be shot at a high school during the day, and a big party scene for tonight. The cast hits the high school around 1:00. It’s fairly easy for us, pretty much standing and staring at each other. This movie has very little dialogue, it’s very visual. I’ve realized that most of this movie has me breathing heavy for most of my shots. Funny. There was a shot with Gray where we’re almost completely nose to nose. It would almost have been touching, if we could have stopped giggling at each other. Still, we finished about an hour behind schedule.

(Oh yeah, for lunch Suzanne brought us these completely amazing wonderful sandwiches and baby carrots and apple slices. I wanted to bring a clone of her home.)

We get back and there’s a ton of people for the party scene, including the singers for part of the soundtrack. Most of this for me was blessedly quick. Our two other main characters played by Todd and Kristi were also on set for tonight. Once again, it was a very late night. After the party scene was wrapped for the night the crew got this huge second wind that became really infectious. There were a few outside shots that were great fun for all involved. By this time it was getting on to 3 a.m. the second wind had begun to crash, but there was still more stuff to be done. I think we finished up around 5:30.

10/8 Sunday

This is it. The last night. I’m excited to be done, but I don’t really want to go back to, like, work or anything. A lot of tonight is finishing up inserts we didn’t get last night during the party sequence. Some parts were pretty disjointed. There was a good scene in the upstairs hall that went really well. My favorite moment was a small break in the shooting when I was with the camera crew on the stairs. Out of the blue I asked, “So, you guys got anything else coming up? I’m available."

Adam, “You wanna be a demon in my movie?”

Justin, into the radio, “Nico, you wanna get Kevin a copy of Writer’s Block?”

Elie, “We got four or five things coming up I know about…”

Nice to know I’m wanted.

We were definitely pushing it to get through the night. The last few shots were definitely pushing it. The second to last shot I had to find my dead wife, pick her up from the ground and carry her off frame. The problem was there were these loose sheets of satiny stuff on the floor, which are slippery. We took it twice, and twice Michelle and I almost ate it.

The final shot was of my hand pulling out a knife from a drawer. This was totally shotgunned, only three or four of us were there to do it. The sun was starting to come up over the horizon and finally we finished. Then the massive packing. The debate was whether to stay or make the three hour drive home. I opted along with most people in bailing.

Of course, the truck they used was dead. There was much hilarity (when I say much I mean NONE) when they attempted to jump the truck with my Jeep. That wasn’t working so we’re trying to find the starter, the solenoid, when finally I think, “hey, my Jeep’s had a ton of electrical issues, maybe we should switch cars.” As soon as we did, it started right up. This was the basis for my decision to get rid of that vehicle.

I made the drive in only a few hours. My bed was never more inviting.

All things considered it was an exhausting but really fun weekend. I learned a lot about working on film, and learned that a little bit of understanding and work ethic go a long way with the crew.

Holy shiitake

2006-11-12T23:21:00.000-05:00

I almost completely forgot to blog anything in the past month. Honestly, so much has been happening that I feel I've barely had the time. Things have been moving well in the acting circle for me, it seems.

I really do plan to post my second weekend's adventures on Threads very soon. It'll help because there's a lot of details I can skip on subsequent shoots.

Speaking of subsequent shoots...

October 21

The Hop was pretty much a marathon. It's basically a Grease style high school piece, set in the 50's. My role was the comic principal. I arrived in the Cape at 4 in the afternoon, knowing it was gonna be another long night. Most of the crew had no idea I would be back, so it was nice seeing the pleasant look of surprise and getting the hugs and handshakes. Much better than getting an "oh, you again" kind of greeting. For this one we had a high school gym f0r basically twenty-four hours. And we used all of them. It was funny to watch the reactions to my stuff. Threads had been so serious, I guess they weren't expecting the rock-em-sock-em hilarity that happens when I bring the funny. Completely loopy by the end of the shoot, I got home at 10:30 the next night to close a bar with my old college roommate Neal.

November 10

This past weekend I shot a scene for Writer's Block, the last of the Emerson films I was involved in. Easily the fastest shoot I'd done with these guys (perfection takes time, folks) it was a pleasure to shoot, and great fun working with Troy, the lead of the movie. The most poignant moment for me was the end of the shoot. They have a tradition, I don't know if everyone does it. When an actor has finished his/her last shot the AD calls for attention and announces that it's a wrap for said actor, followed by a heartfelt round of applause from cast and crew. With both Threads and The Hop I was in the very last shot, when everyone is desperately packing and trying to get off location, which meant a perfunctory "hooray" and they were off to packing again. (That wasn't a complaint. We all wanted to get the hell out.) This time I finished first and they brought everyone in and the AD Lucinda (angel) announced that I was wrapped for (in her words) the semester. There was a huge, long round of applause and the rest of the night there was a lot of hugs and hand shaking. I'm gonna miss those guys, and I feel like I'm gonna be missed.

Oh yeah, Keto's first film Razor Man, was accepted to the NY Film and Video Festival. The trailer's on her website here. Congrats to everyone who worked on it!

Yesterday

I took the morning off from work. I knew it would be a longish night on Writer's Block and there was another audition I wanted to hit in Boston. This was for a group that organizes the Boston International Film Festival. I hoped for big things. They wanted a monologue. Blechh. I have none in my arsenal, so earlier this week I bought a couple monologue collections and assiduously avoided reading them until the last minute. I must have read two hundred before finally gettting one I felt comfortable with. Funny, it took me about half an hour to have it committed to memory. I have a talent for getting off book quickly, in fact, I think I get cast in some plays simply because they know I'll have it in my head faster, but that was just silly. Anywho, I get to the office and there's a row of chiseled, perfect looking people studying lines. (Someday soon I'll have pictures up but those of you who don't know me, I'm far from perfect.) Everyone's got a head shot (I have none yet, subject for a later post) and a resume. I don't even have a pen. I can do nothing but laugh at myself in these moments. I sit and wait, hearing monologues that are raging, wailing, heartfelt. Loud.

My turn comes.

I'm usually pretty cool when it comes to auditions. I mean, everyone's nervous, but I got a handle on it. Done it a million times, I'm used to both rejection and acceptance. Even when I'm shaking on the inside you'd never know it cause I am locked down on the outside.

Not today.

For some reason (maybe all the gorgeous people in the hall) I couldn't get the tremor out of my voice and my hands wouldn't stop shaking. Usually I use that if I can't get rid of it. Use it as an emotional tell, make it fit into my performance. The problem is the monologue I picked was pretty understated. I wanted to emote without placing a big red bow on it. I wanted it to be opaque, subtle, the insecurities of the character not easily seen. Except I was a ball of nerves. I delivered it, thanked them, and walked out thinking, "another wasted trip."

Four hours later I got the call. I'm in! While I haven't read the script yet it's apparently a key role. We'll see this week. Goes to show, you never can tell.